Kelly Dare

Ola!!

2011-01-12T18:55:00.001+13:00

And goodbye. I've moved sites officially now to www.kellydare.com.

You should go there... it's awesome!

xoxoxox

Having Grace

2010-09-29T11:33:00.000+13:00

Woah big mistake made on Australia's Next Top Model. Watch this:

The whole thing reminded me of this idea I had in March about dealing with everything gracefully. It's not a matter of not getting annoyed about things, but remembering that you don't need to be a fish wife harridan to get what you want - shouting and screeching really doesn't get you anywhere.

Your reaction to something is what sparks the re-reaction in someone else. Reacting with anger just makes the other person react with anger. Reacting with strength and grace should maek the other person respect you a bit more.

I bet Kelsey ends up going onto do really cool things. Who wouldn't want to work with her after seeing her comfort Sarah Murdoch like that?

No Expectations

2010-09-24T16:48:00.001+12:00

There's this song by the Rolling Stones called "No Expectations". I've had it stuck in my head for about four days straight. It's one of my favourite songs to sing with my dad on guitar. He's about the best guitar player I know that man. Although the song is so simple that I suspect even I could manage to strum along to it. That really is a sign of how simple the song is because my guitar playing skills are extremely rudimentary. I used to be able to C, D, and E chords - they were the most commonly used ones in Johnny Cash songs so my dad taught me them. Oh god, this whole post has completely got off topic.

So, this song. I've had it stuck in my head for days. And it's making me feel something I had lost for a few weeks and reminding me how important that thing is.

Hope.

Hope that in 94 days, things are going to be on the up and up and I'll be back to doing something I love.
Hope that I'm leaving behind this stupid mood I've been in for the last while and things will be back to normal.
Hope that even though you're never, ever going to be happy with me, that you're happy with someone who is as wonderful as you are.
Hope that people who aren't around anymore would be so amazingly proud of me.
Hope that you're going to be okay and healthy and live for a long, long time.
Hope that everything is going to work out just fine.

And with hope, comes a little burst of knowledge, and with knowledge comes calm, and with calm comes acceptance.

And for you music buffs: this is the Rolling Stones version:

And this is the Johnny Cash version.

Oh my, they're both pretty grand aren't they?

Oh Johnny, why'd you have to die before I got to see you live?

Betrayer of Ponies

2010-09-13T21:00:00.002+12:00

Devin McGrath. Wow.

Thanks Michelle from Kingdom of Style for the intro.

Zoe + Morgan with a dash of Karen Walker

2010-09-09T11:30:00.000+12:00

I'm in love with the following. Anyone who feels like buying me a present, feel free to get me one or all of these.

Hope Ring by Zoe + Morgan

Karen Walker Owl Blazer

Esther Williams swimsuit

Be The Best Version Of Yourself

2010-09-08T09:57:00.001+12:00

"Everyone is trying to be someone they’re not"

I read this quote this morning on weheartit when I was making stationery amnesty boxes for work and it really annoyed me.

I bet you’re a pretty great person. I bet you have really cool things going on in your head. I bet you’ve got hidden talents that the world is begging to see. Pretending to be the girl who is interested in watching roller derby when really you want to be the girl playing or feigning interest in a band you think is pretentious and wanky isn’t going to make you awesome.

Being the best version of yourself is going to make you awesome.

Happy with what you've got?

2010-09-06T19:06:00.001+12:00

I don't have a size ten body. I have 'bizarre' proportions and I had two separate salespeople tell me last week that my arms were out of proportion with the rest of my body. A couple of months ago, a woman at a popular store here in NZ told me I was too curvy for their clothes. The thing is, I just don't care.

I used to. Man, I used to hate certain parts of my body (if you ever meet me, you get two guesses as to what) but now I appreciate pretty much every part of myself.

My body allows me to do things and amazes me almost every day with what it can do. Sure I think I'd die if I was forced to run a marathon tomorrow but my body lets me walk to work. On my way to work it allows me to smell the fresh flowers that the woman is putting outside the shop, it allows me to walk up the stairs to my favourite cafe and have a delicious cup of coffee, it allows me to go to the gym on my way in my effort to get fitter, it allows me to run across The Terrace when I'm running late for work. And all this it does before 9am. It's pretty impressive.

I have days where I hate my body. I wake up and nothing fits properly, I can't find anything I like but on days like that, I remind myself of all the amazing things my body can do. And it's all right again.

Advice from My Mother Pt 4

2010-09-01T19:13:00.000+12:00

When it's all custard, watch The Sound Of Music

A few of my favourite things?

plane tickets - researching new countries - falling in love - music - posters - stationery - heaters - hot showers on cold nights - The West Wing - paella - karaoke - joy - heartache - living - knowing how proud she would be of me right now - my aunties - songs with memories - being in love - road trips - flamingos - shades of grey - purple - spreadsheets - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Max - Tim - friends - schmucks - Sound of Music - 117 days - birthdays - sequins - Lonely Planet guides - Stephen Fry - magic eight balls - moose suits - over-the-top - lust - Draco - explorers - spring - sunshine.

And then I don't feel so bad.

Flamingo Love

2010-08-30T20:56:00.002+12:00

I love flamingos.

I love that flamingos change colour depending on what food they eat.

I love that flamingos were my mum's favourite bird and that they're mine as well.

I love that my friend Kate is drawing me one to go on my business card.

I love how they're slightly ridiculous and clumsy looking and I sometimes feel ridiculous and clumsy. But strangely compelling. I don't know if I'm strangely compelling. But I'd like to be.

I love that they eat so gracefully.

I love that they can fly 600km in one night.

I love that flamingos can live in volcanic lakes and icy lacks in the Andean mountains. They can drink water that is almost boiling. They're adaptable and resilient, which is how humans should be.

I love that they spend up to 30% of their days preening themselves.

I love that they eat their head upside down in the water and hold their breath when they feed. It's built in portion control.

I love that there is no other pink bird on the planet. Or any other pink animal that I can think of.

I love flamingos.

In case you hadn't guessed.

It's YOU

2010-08-29T19:32:00.001+12:00

When you're 50 you probably won't be wondering:

if you were too big to wear the black dress.
about this boy you have a crush on and whether you should have told him you had a crush on him.
that algebra would have changed your life (unless your a mathematician...)
if you should have stayed in that dead end relationship for a little bit longer to see if he grows up.
that the presentation you give tomorrow is life or death.
about the last time you got drunk and did silly things.
if you'll regret moving countries and not knowing anyone in your new city.

Shit happens people, let's deal with it and move on.

love stuff

2010-08-27T12:59:00.001+12:00

owls - flamingos - watching two friends walk into the airport to begin their honeymoon - happiness - asking and receiving - flirtation - blatancy - alleyways - falling asleep to the rain - music crushlust - passionate people - IMDB - The West Wing - love - family - homekill - roadtrip planning - adventures - fanclubs - Danielle La Porte - when your heart is filled with so much joy, it aches.

Chur Kate for the music love .

Guilty Pleasures

2010-08-23T18:55:00.000+12:00

I'll admit my taste in movies is pretty bad (although some people like Pootie Tang and that's just abysmal). My favourite movie is Independence Day. The movie is basically one giant flaw and yet, it's still one of my favourite movies to curl up to. Nothing in real life seems as bad as the possible end of civilisation.

I have friends who are connoisseurs of movies. People who work in production houses, at film festivals, who make films, who act in them. They know lots about movies and I'm pretty much the odd one out of them all in terms of my loves. The thing about guilty pleasures is that if you don't feel guilty about them, why should anyone be able to think your taste is bad simply because you prefer to distract yourself with media rather than learn from it every single time?

Sure, I think you should learn things from movies and music and TV. I think movies can teach us about places and things and cultures we might not have experienced otherwise. Sometimes you should extend your viewing beyond the obvious blockbusters. It's good for us to learn things - and it's usually more interesting than listening to a bad lecture. Sometimes though, what I really want in life is a good old fashioned fist fight and a whole lot of blowing stuff up. I like bad movies where I don't need to think too much, where things are obvious and morals are black and white. I'm okay with that.

So what about you? What's something you do that your friends think your nuts for doing?

xx

Compassion

2010-08-19T18:25:00.000+12:00

say f*** off with compassion in your heart

I'm completely in love with this writer Danielle LaPorte at the moment. I'm forwarding her amazing advice onto everyone I can lay my hands on and if I would be her biggest cheerleader if she ever came to New Zealand. She wrote this permission slip from the universe today that really spoke to me. One of the main points in it (that was actually written by someone else but is still amazing) was the above one.

I have this real problem with saying no to people. I say yes to things I can't deliver, things I'm not passionate about, and things I do because I think I should. Partly I do this because when it's a friend, I feel like I can't say no without letting them down. But this point really makes sense to me. It's because I value you as a friend and I value your time, that I don't want to waste it. You're doing your thing and that's cool. It's just not my thing. That has to be okay.

Chur for the reminder Danielle. And I will be stalking you at some point in the near future.

Stuff I Need To Remember

2010-08-18T19:51:00.000+12:00

1) Life is awesome. I know, I know. This is cheesy, it sounds like some effort to make everything magic. But you know what? Life IS awesome. You never know what is around the corner, you never know what's going to blindside you tomorrow morning on the bus, you don't know who you're going to meet, or what you're going to do. Embrace that! It's pretty great really.

2) If you're bored, do something about it. Sure, you might have a job that numbs your brain but do something with your time. My mother always said that if you say you're bored all the time, then you're probably a boring person. It's true. Soz guys. And if you are ever thinking your whole life is boring? Read this.

3) Pay it forward. I have this friend who I think is pretty wonderful. He's annoyingly talented, intelligent, and fantastic. I tell him this fairly regularly. I'm sure he thinks I have some ulterior motive to my telling him but I find that believing in others helps cement my belief in myself. It's kind of like if you can't tell other people how great they are, how are you meant to tell yourself how great you are?

4) If it's not working out for you, why are you doing it? I keep eating food I know isn't good for me and gives me food hangovers the next day. I know I shouldn't but I do it from habit. It's interesting to think about whether you're doing something because you want to be doing it or simply because it's a habit. Giving up habits is hard, but it'll be worth it.

5) Whatever you're doing, do it hard. What is the actual point of doing something half-arsed? If you passionately believe in what you're doing, why aren't you doing it 100%? Again, maybe you have a shit job that you hate (it's ok, we've all been there) but why aren't you doing something you're passionate about at the end of the day? Why not make your personal time interesting and passionate and exciting?

This song has little to do with anything. But it is a great song. That's all that counts.

I need to remember these things. I need to remember to not get bogged down in the minor details. I need to remember that everything will be okay.

Yay! Goals!

2010-08-16T18:23:00.000+12:00

It dawned on me today that for the last month or so I've been coasting. I've been doing the bare minimum I need to do to get by, get where I want to go, and get things done. But no more! Coasting is for losers. No, that's not true - sometimes coasting can be good for you. But I have things I want to get done.

So, Elsie's 4 Simple Goals is EXACTLY what I need to get back into everything again.

1) Get exercise once a day, preferably outside.
I want forest smell, I want rain smell, I want something other than icky sweaty gym smell. So I'm going to try and do this everyday. Wellington weather may put paid to this one every now and then but now I have more of a routine in my life, I reckon it's completely doable.

2) Appreciate the positive.
I want people I see on a regular basis to inspire me to do be as great as they are. Over the next few months, I really want to work at surrounding myself with the amazing, intelligent, fun people I know and make sure they know I think they're wonderful, amazing, intelligent people. I also have this thing with getting rid of toxic people. That's a whole other goal and a whole other blog post though.

3) De-clutter
I have too much stuff. It's time to get rid of those old dresses, those books I hate, those magazines that only make me feel ugly (haha like the song), and get everything down to the minimum.

4) Write more.
I like writing. Basically, I need to do more of it. Simple eh?

Link Love

2010-07-29T18:53:00.000+12:00

1) Creating the life YOU want from 16 bloggers. It's worth a read.

2) The newish Kate Nash album. Kate Nash says everything I feel in at least one of her songs. She's totally cute and I want my hair to look just like hers.

3) Danielle LaPorte. SO EPICALLY inspiring. Every time I get one of her posts, I get excited because I KNOW I'm going to get something out of it. I'm saving up to buy her book, I know I will gain an awful lot from it. Her Notes To My 20 Year Old Self is a good reminder of life philosophies.

4) Getting stuff for free or heavily discounted. This week, I have been astounded at New Zealand companies generosity, excitement for me, and general good time vibes. About half of the emails I've sent out asking for advice, help, or 'financial support' have gotten back to me pledging one, or all, of these things. I'm pretty stoked.

5) Kayak.com. Trying to book American flights without an American credit card is a nightmare. Kayak makes it all a little bit easier. And their flights are really cheap as well. Yay!

6) The Texan accent. I, uh, enjoy listening to Texans talk. I'm going to have to get over this at some point so that I don't just sit there and stare at people while they talk to me. One day...

7) Being nervous. Nerves are the worst. But when I'm nervous, I know it's going to be worth it in the end. 90% of the time, I'm right.

Inspirado

2010-07-25T15:43:00.000+12:00

So I've been having a bit of a freakout lately. It's been completely killing my buzz and making me a dick and whingy and blurgh. ALL THE TIME. I was freaking out about moving to the States, hopefully for a long time, and not having much money, not having a job after Austin, not knowing what the heck I'm going to do. All of this was getting to me a little bit. But today, pretty much all of that changed and I feel grand about life again.

It's funny how meeting someone new can completely change your perspective on things. People have said 'ooo you should talk to this guy', 'you'll love him, he's great', 'he's creative and you're creative'. Today, I met this guy and he TOTALLY LIVED UP TO HIS HYPE. And now I have a crush on him. Not a 'I want to jump your bones' kind of crush but a 'you've re-inspired me, you're awesome, let's do stuff together' kind of a way.

I think finding what inspires you is one of the most important things in the world. I know I get inspired by people way more than anything else. I know a killer conversation with someone is going to do way more for my creativity than wandering around an art gallery. Figuring this out took awhile, and it's something that changes for everyone.

So chickees/gents, what inspires you? What makes your heart tingle in that 'oooo this is going to be AMAZING' kind of a way? Reckon you should go and do more of that now.

Giving It Up For Free

2010-07-21T10:37:00.000+12:00

There was a job going at a New Zealand fashion designer's office last week. In 12 hours, 140 people had applied. The position hasn't been given to anyone just yet but it seems fair to say that it won't go to someone who has no experience in the fashion industry. This is where you throw up your hands and say "but I'm just out of high school, I haven't had time to get experience!" and "no one will give me a job because I have no experience but I can't get experience without a job". Tricky? Well, not for you, you clever thing!

The answer to both these problems is actually pretty easy. It's called interning, volunteering, or 'Giving It Up For Free'. In my time, I've done a lot of volunteering. I can honestly say that every hour was somehow worth it. Especially the festival work - now I have experience and references and useful, and lovely, people to help me out.

My advice for anyone thinking about doing an internship or a stint of volunteering?

Treat it like a real job.

Work the hours you've agreed to work. Even if you're doing 10 hours a week somewhere, make sure that for those ten hours, you are there. Get to work on time, finish when you've agreed you'll finish.
Dress appropriately. No one is expecting that you're going to own the flashest clothing in the place but looking like you've made a bit of an effort is important. We used to have people turn up wearing jandals and cut-offs and it just looks messy when everyone else is dressed way more formally. Pay attention to what people are wearing and emulate someone whose style you admire.
Ask questions! You are there to learn stuff. It's going to look great on your CV but you also do want to be getting some knowledge out of it. See if you can schedule a meeting with your boss to talk about how she/he got there, talk to people about what their roll is.
Participate in workplace events. Make an effort to hang out with work people, at work drinks etc etc.
Even if your responsibilities are minimal, acknowledge that they matter. Very few employers will waste your time getting you to do something completely hopeless - what you do will matter in some way. Get the boring jobs done first, and you will get the more interesting ones.
Recognise that no one is going to give you the amazing jobs first time round. Sometimes people get super lucky with this but often, you're going to be stuck doing things like database administration, or filing, or other heinous activities before you get to style a major fashion shoot. It's ok, it's all part of moving up.
Don't sleep with anyone, kiss anyone, or take anyone home that is slightly, even minimally related to your place of work. You will not live that reputation down easily. And in some cases, it follows you around the world. That super-hot guy or gal is not worth the drama that might follow.

How I Decided What To DO

2010-07-16T06:20:00.000+12:00

Halfway through last year, it dawned on me that I actually needed to figure it out or I was going to go nuts. I'm the sort of person that needs to have a plan and my whole planned career was rapidly going nowhere. When you're driving to work and crying on the motor way because you don't want to go, it's a sign. My process of deciding really was a bit of a process. However, I didn't mind if it took awhile, I was trying to figure out how I wanted to spend a good chunk of my life.

The Superlist

I started writing two lists. One was for things I was good at and the other was things I enjoyed. I did this for a couple of months. Every time I thought of something new, I would chuck it onto a list and just let it sit there for awhile. Eventually, I merged all the lists together into two separate superlists.

I hung the superlists on my wall and just looked at it every day. Sometimes crossing things off, sometimes clarifying points. Eventually, I took it down, took it to my favourite coffee shop and took the top five from each one. This was a massive exercise in culling but in the end was really beneficial - I now have a fairly clear idea of the main five things I'm good at and the five things I enjoy the most in the world.

I also wrote a list about my priorities - what was super important to me. I'm lucky in that my family and friends travel often so I'm happy to base myself anywhere in the world, money is important insofar as it allows me to do what I want to do, and I can be a complete workaholic.

The Emailing

Then came the fun part. I started researching how I could put all my skills and talents and enjoyment into good use. I emailed a whole ton of people asking about different careers, including writers, photographers, journalists, event managers, editors, travel agents. Pretty much every career I could think of that somehow married my interests and skills together, I contacted someone in all the industries about their chosen career. I did this as cold emails and asked questions like what they did, whether they got satisfaction from it, and most importantly, if their work actually made them happy. I was lucky and got responses from basically everyone I emailed. If I didn't get a response from them, I usually got something from someone else in the company. Everyone was really helpful.

Decision!

I mulled over the emails and could cross some careers off straight away. Others intrigued me and so I again started sending emails to find out about work experience. One email I sent was to the lovely Mary Laine, who is an artist here in Wellington and also helped run the New Zealand Fringe Festival and now helps with The WHAT (Wellington Humour Advancement Trust). AND she is simply one of my most favourite people in the whole world. Anyway, so I emailed her about getting some work at the New Zealand Fringe Festival and magically, that all panned out brilliantly.

It was pretty much during Fringe Festival that I realised I am going to be a kick ass event manager. My top five skills are perfectly suited to this, and the top five things I enjoy doing are ALSO perfectly suited. There are definitely things I need to improve on but for the most part, I'm really happy with my decision.

Other people to check out:

These are some people who've written about this topic that I really admire, and got a lot out of their suggestions!

I don't think you ever have all the answers 100% (how boring would that be) but I think if you enjoy what you're doing you're much more likely to be good at it AND feel passionate about your job. You're going to be there for a fairly big chunk of your day, you had best enjoy what you do. I definitely don't have everything sorted out - there are things I'm really not looking forward to leaving at the end of this year and I'm a tad nervous about going off into the big world as a freelancer. But, I know I'll enjoy it and that's at least 85% of the challenge I reckon.

II'm about to lose my computer for a few days (argh) but next week I've got posts on working for frees AND how to make an amazing network of people.

Have an excellent weekend everyone.

Just Doing It

2010-07-12T10:59:00.002+12:00

My friend is getting on a plane tomorrow evening (well, morning her time), to fly to this charming little country called Darfur. She scored a gig being a photographer for a NFP. It's something she has wanted to do for ages and after a breakup decided she wasn't getting any younger, so just started emailing a whole ton of people, sent her portfolio to a whole ton of people, and lined up work. She was working for a photographer in London, doing annoying stock photo shoots. It was good money, but certain lack of fulfillment. And so she stopped.

It's super scary to stop what you're doing. It's easy to get caught up in the money, in knowing when you can plan to have holidays, to go to the same grocery store, to see the same group of people all the time. Familiarity is nice. But really, if you spend 40 hours of your week doing something you hate doing, or, worse, are indifferent about, you're the one missing out.

Sure, no one is saying it's easy. Maybe you can't just quit your job but you could be making that film in your spare time, you could play music with a different group of people, you could decide that travelling is the most important thing to you and figure out how to get there. What it takes is a conscious decision on what is important to you. And once you've figured that out? It's time to start figuring out how to get there, and get all the things that are super important to you.

Do this just for yourself. I find writing it down helps, but I don't show anyone my lists. Some people know my goals, but the decision of what you want to do and what your priorities are, is completely up to you.

Slam Poetry

2010-06-26T10:35:00.001+12:00

Last year, when I was teaching, I taught a unit on Slam Poetry. It was tons of fun even my kids looked at me while I was nuts when I made them watch a whole ton of video clips, just to see what they were missing out on.

For those of you who don't know, a poetry slam is a competition where poets read their work and then are judged not only on the content of their slam but in the delivery and passion behind their words. It's often political, issue driven poetry.

Sonya Renee performed last year at the Auckland Readers and Writers festival. Me and a group of ten of my students went to town to see her. The trip itself was amazing but seeing one of my girls almost crying at her performance was worth the arguments we went through to get there. AND this girl got on stage and won a spur of the moment poetry contest. Who says kids who can't read don't know stuff?

And this one just makes me get a goofy grin that I'm pleased no one is here to see. I'd build a fort with him ANYDAY.

I Swoon...

2010-06-25T12:17:00.001+12:00

I think it's the attitude of the guy that gets me. That 'let's be friends' but you know, if you don't want to be, it doesn't really matter either way attitude gets me every time.

The video makes me smile. And the song makes me think about things I'm wishing for. I tried writing a list but then realised how materialistic the whole thing made me sound. And then I started thinking about why this was so. And I realised, I have pretty much everything intangible or non-material that I want right now.

So enough of the doldrums and woe-is-me that it's been this week. I mean there have been extenuating circumstances for the self-imposed pity party. But really, it's time to move on.

Je Suis Un Robot

2010-06-24T09:01:00.002+12:00

I have a long held love affair with robots. It's almost as bad as my love affair with zombies. Some of my favourite storylines in Buffy were the ones when there were manic robots roaming Sunnydale.

There's a shop here that sells tin robots much like the one pictured above. I got one for someone as a Christmas present. I sort wish I'd kept it. But maybe he gets a quirky grin on his face when he looks at robots just like I do. I doubt it though.

I'd be pretty stoked if every time I ordered something from Amazon, I got one of this little dudes. That would make packages that much more exciting to open.

And of course, Wall-E. I remember watching this movie on a lovely lady's couch the first night I spent in London after spending a horrendous amount of time stuck, first in Tokyo and then in Frankfurt Airport. Soothing movie, lovely movie.

And, I adore this song by Marina and the Diamonds.

images from weheartit if not linked to somewhere else.

EDIT: Turns out he DOES like the robot. At least it's at the home of someone who appreciates a good robot.

Fiercer

2010-06-22T13:09:00.001+12:00

I'd feel soooo fierce if I owned this amazing knuckle duster by Debra Baxter.
It's even got a fierce name.

I am going to realign your chakras motherf*****

It just makes my day...

2010-06-15T18:20:00.000+12:00

1) When something that had the potential to be hard was actually rather painless.

2) When I read my horoscope and it tells me to "not emigrate, enrol in a course, launch a website or aim for Afghanastan - or even Adelaide - unless you know the score". All of which are things I've been thinking about or doing for the past two weeks. But then thinking that I know the score on at least a few of these things. And aside from the heat thing, I'm so excited for Adelaide it's a bit ridiculous.

3) Falling in love with shoes. They're black, they have studs, they look comfortable. And they're semi within budget. Well, no they're not but honestly, they're gorgeous and I want them. You can get them from Ultra Shoes in Wellington but I'm not sure where else.

4) Discovering new music. I've had the Naked And Famous song on repeat for the past couple of weeks. I've just been listening to a whole bunch of their other music and it is goooooood. Give me an album people! Please?

5) Having a complete stranger compliment me on my new coat. It's gorgeous. And if I ever find my camera cable, I'll put a photo of it up.

High Glitz?

2010-06-09T11:43:00.000+12:00

Susan Anderson, an American photographer, shot the photos in her book, High Glitz, over a three year period where she followed the US children's beauty pageant circuit. She says that the pageants reflect "our own values of beauty, success, and glamour". In a way, I guess this is true. But I'm just a bit disturbed by the objectification of pre-pubescent girls. It worries me that this is the message been sent to girls - that to be complete you have to put on a ton of makeup, pose, and have the perfect hair.

All images from Kopeik Gallery

Authenticity

2010-06-07T20:38:00.000+12:00

Give an actual kiss instead of an air kiss.

Do things you're passionate about.

Stand up for your friends and for strangers.

Listen to music you like, not just what's considered cool.

Wear clothes that fit and flatter you and make you feel good.

Disconnect every now and then and read a good book.

Treat people how you want to be treated.

Love and like people.

Things I Want

2010-06-07T11:27:00.001+12:00

1) These boots.

via Lovelorn Unicorn from Rachel Comey.

2) New cups. Like this one.

3) The new Naked and Famous record to hurry up and come out.

4) For it to be November. And to be on a plane. On a long distance flight. Mmmmm plane rides.

5) A pair of pretty gumboots to keep my feet dry in the middle of the rainy Wellington winter.

6) A new laptop or at least a new screen since my has blue, giant cracks all over it.

New Favourite Song

2010-06-06T21:56:00.001+12:00

I love this song. It makes me happy and sad and all tingly. I like it when music does that to you. It's been awhile since it has. I've been listening to a lot of new music this week, and it's good to listen to shit that you don't associate with a load of other people and the past, and history. Still can't listen to Louis Armstrong's What A Wonderful World, still adore MGMT Kids because it reminds me of Edinburgh, still love listening to anything by the Rolling Stones because of all those memories made over the years to different Rolling Stones songs. Honestly, I can't think of single really, really significant relationship I've had in my life time that I haven't linked to a Rolling Stones song. Hmmmmm. Challenge?

Stuff I Love

2010-05-30T18:13:00.000+12:00

1) Tequila shots with good friends at 2 in the morning.

2) Tearful goodbyes but knowing I'm going to see you again super, duper soon and it will be amazing.

3) Knowing that really, when it comes down to it, I deserve better.

4) Planning bus trips across the United States... Los Angeles to New York by bus? I'm either going to die or have the best time ever. Now I just need to find someone to come with me... maybe...

5) These gorgeous earrings from Michelle Lane. I used to have a boyfriend who did ropework. He was a rigger and now works on cruise ships around the world and is married. It's weird to think of my ex's being married and to think I thought about marrying him. I think we would have killed each other by now!

6) Having a passion. You know, people are passionate about strange things and I don't always understand why they're passionate about it. But the fact you ARE passionate about something makes you incredibly attractive. I need a new passion and this week I'm going to find one to occupy me for winter.

Silly Things

2010-05-26T19:20:00.003+12:00

01) Driving to op shop central and realising I've left my wallet at home.
02) Drinking vodka and lemonade in a giant swig this morning thinking it was water.
03) Buying Lucky Dips and getting a Kinder Surprise toy.
04) Breaking the ear of one of my lucky Japanese rabbits.
05) Expecting things that just simply won't happen.
06) Not having enough warm clothes so wearing lots of layers to pretend warmth.
07) Buying ice-cream that I can't eat and then having it torture me all the way to someone's house.
08) Tights that get runs in them after only wearing them twice.
09) Forgetting to give people their mix tapes so having to send them to the US.
10) Jumping to conclusions and not being allowed to explain why I did.

Hehe cute fox.

Questions I'm asking...

2010-05-24T19:43:00.003+12:00

This was an epically long post about how shit I feel right now. But then my computer crashed and instead of re-writing the whole thing, I've done questions. It's probably better you don't read the stream of consciousness that it was before.

1) How did I end up in this position, again? Did I learn nothing last time?

2) Why is a good chunk of my social circle leaving within two weeks of each other?

3) What on earth was Lost all about?

4) How long will it take for me to crash my new car?

5) Who stole my books? Especially my copy of On The Road...

6) When will someone come up with something that will actually stop the oil from spilling into the Gulf? Seriously, how can this not have been fixed yet?

Is it gonna work out?

2010-05-19T10:07:00.008+12:00

I love traveling. I love getting to a new city, and I love the new smells, the new tastes, and waking up in the morning and not feeling entirely sure where you are. I mainly travel on my own due to the fact I'm stubborn and like doing things my way. I was meant to be travelling this year - had the money, the tickets, and the desire to be in South America. Stuff happened, I didn't and now I'm desperately planning an escape fairly soon. Just a shortish sojourn this time to the land of the free. Or maybe the land of the repressed? Anyway, America.

I had this crazy idea a few months ago about traveling around the US by Greyhound Bus. I quite like buses. But I think my sanity would go even more if I was to spend huge amounts of time on one. But wouldn't that be kind of insanely cool? Mmmmm dreams are free, plane tickets aren't.

Portland?

Austin (SXSW PICK ME)?

New York?

Just thinking about these makes me smile a bit.

XX

Eating Blues

2010-05-18T16:40:00.001+12:00

For a couple of months now, I've known that I'm intolerant to wheat and to dairy. But I still eat it. Seriously, wheat is in absolutely everything. This usually ends with me feeling sick as and thinking I'm silly because I know how to prevent feeling shit. I still do it though. It's kind of like buying that dress you know what work out but it's so amazing you need it then and there.

Food intolerances are on the rise. It's thought that about 54% of the population have some sort of food intolerance. 75% have some form of dairy intolerance. I nicely slot into the category of having two intolerances to major food groups. Usually I get around this by eating what I like and feeling awful later on. No more though! Today I went to the doctor and was told in no uncertain terms to "stop acting like it's going to be all right" and to eat the food I'm allowed to eat. Now my doctor is slightly scary and a woman to be obeyed. So I celebrated this news with a giant muffin on the way home and a vow that I'll start eating properly. Tomorrow.

This coincides with my goal to not eat out for a whole week. This is a GIANT undertaking for me - I very rarely cook and whenever I do, I manage to fuck it. Anyone for burnt pasta? So, in planning, I've been doing some research. Turns out, ethnic foods are most promising. So it looks like I'm about to become an expert in Mexican and Japanese cooking. This can't be a bad thing.

So, over the next week (starting Wednesday), expect to hear a bit of whinging about how awful wheat free bread is, how life without dairy is killing me, and how gluten free pizza bases make a shit pizza.

Advice From My Mother Pt 3

2010-05-17T14:20:00.002+12:00

Be all right with the status quo

There's this constant drive to be perfect. You should have a full social life, the perfect figure, the quirky wardrobe, the best flat, white teeth. Your job should pay highly but mean you don't have to do too much. Your lover will also be everything you ever dreamed of.

It's always easy to look at the things you don't have but maybe we need to look at what we do have. My friends are the best network of friends I've ever had. My career is going crazy-fun places. Whilst it doesn't pay all that great, I have a blast doing what I do. I have a great flat even if the bathroom drive me nuts. I'm healthy (ish) and I usually remember to eat three times a day. My wardrobe makes me happy even though it's not full of designer labels. My body is just fine for me and I feel pretty good about it most of the time.

So, whilst my life wouldn't be classed as perfect by anyone on the outside looking in, and even I wouldn't class it as perfect, it's the little annoyances that make me appreciate the rest of it.

Happy with the status quo? Maybe, finally, I am.

Baby, It's Fact

2010-05-13T16:45:00.000+12:00

1) Making out to Lady Gaga is fun.

2) Dress up parties are the shizz.

3) I hate banana flavoured anything.

4) I listen to the "Don't Stop Believin'" by the Glee team really loud before going out to gigs to remind myself that music can be fun and not wanky and pretentious.

5) My sister is the best.

6) Sometimes you're the biggest idiot I know even though you're also one of the smartest.

7) Dancing is fun.

8) Wearing a crazy dress makes it impossible to blend into the background.

Much Love

2010-05-11T17:06:00.001+12:00

This is a segment on one of my favourite blogs, Much Love, that I decided to do today. It seemed like the sort of day to do such a thing.

You know when you're having one of those days when everything under the sun is going wrong? And it's only 11am? Well, lunch at Sweet Mother's Kitchen here in Wellington with three of the best ladies (Kate, Kim, and Jo) ever is bound to improve everything. So, my heart for the day goes to friends that are there good times, shit times, and times when you want to stab someone with a butter knife.

image: weheartit

Impressive

2010-05-10T22:56:00.008+12:00

Isn't this the most amazing video clip Beyonce has ever done? I love just about everything she wears in it . I want that floral two-piece to be my swimsuit for summer. Please??

But today's post is also about this thing girls do... where they try to impress someone and say things, do things, become someone else. We've all been guilty of it. I pretended I really loved a band to impress a guy. It would have worked better if I'd known anything about the band and at least had a passing interest in them. I gave up on it, he figured it out and admitted it wasn't attractive. But now? I'm awesome. Don't ever question that.

Tenacity and Fragility

2010-05-07T21:21:00.000+12:00

These images are from Clare Morgan's recent exhibition. I adore Clare Morgan. She has this way of forcing one to acknowledge both the tenacity and fragility of nature. Which may sound like stupid art wank but is the best way I can think of to describe her works.

I'm feeling a bit fragile at the moment and it is times like this that I want to look at images like the one of the gull and think tenaciously. Not giving up is hard but maybe the time has come to give up on some people. I just don't know anymore.

My Body's a Zombie For You

2010-04-29T14:27:00.001+12:00

Image: weheartit.com

Mail!!!

2010-04-21T11:20:00.000+12:00

I got a letter from my friend in England today. She posted it about a month ago and it got lost in the mail services until now. Inside my little parcel of joy was a set of postcards that she printed from the internet and HOBNOBS. Jesus was thinking of vegans when he created the Hobnob biscuit. Anyway, so I'm flicking through and find this postcard of the following image:

And I already have this exact image hanging on my wall. I love it that we're miles and miles and miles apart, but would probably tear the same pages out of a magazine.

Also included was the rest of these. Ahhh Lucy, I LOVE YOUR WAYS.

Jess's Story

2010-04-20T15:33:00.001+12:00

Hello everyone. The following story is from one of the bravest people I know, Jesse. Jesse is a good friend of mine from home. This is her story. I realise some of you may disagree with her choice about her pregnancy but it is something so many women go through and I think it's important people know more about it.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I just sat on the bathroom floor and cried. I was 22, was in my final year of university and was looking forward to travelling once I had finished. The father was someone I barely tolerated as a casual fling, let alone someone I wanted in my life for the child. I had spent the last two months in a non-stop party, celebrating one thing after another and had been drinking and smoking the whole time.

I went to the FPA to have everything confirmed. They outlined my options but I was firm on not wanting to keep it. They arranged a scan, which I went to in between university tests, and it was confirmed that I was six weeks pregnant. The woman at the clinic said the child would be healthy if I continued but by that point, I had stopped thinking of myself as pregnant. This was something I could, and would, deal with.

I told the father and his reaction was "well at least I know things work". He wanted no real part in the decision and we haven't spoken since then. This was a month into the pregnancy. I couldn't have the procedure done for two more weeks and those eight weeks have put me off pregnancy for life. I threw up every morning, was exhausted, emotional, and had agonising cramps at least once a day. I had the abortion in August, 2010. At the time, I felt fine - I even went and sat an exam straight afterwards.

Four weeks after the procedure, I collapsed at the gym. There were complications that happen one in every 1000 abortions. I do like to do things the hard way. After spending time in hospital and having another operation, I was finally done.

I don't think about it very often. On the due date, I cried and cried but I still feel like I made the right choice. Sometimes I wonder if I will regret it later on and whether it will have an impact on my life in the future. The operation scared me more than the abortion did but I never once regretted my decision."

Blurgh

2010-04-17T18:02:00.001+12:00

I'm sorry, I've been so slack this week it's a bit ridiculous. There have been good things happening though!

1) Aren't these shoes amazing? I want to own a pair in every colour. And maybe move to Sweden because wooden soles in Wellington seems a bit pointless.

2) Go and see Kick Ass. I want to see it again, that's how good it is.

3) My reputation for being cool, calm, and collected was officially destroyed when I squealed with the excitement when I was asked to contribute a regular column to a website. Luckily, negotiations were all done online so no one but my flatmates could hear the squealing.

I Just Still Like The Song

2010-04-14T16:35:00.001+12:00

When I watch you, wanna do you, right where you're standing

Right on the foyer, on this dark day, right in plain view

Of the whole ghetto, the boot-stomped meadows, but we ignore that,

You're lovely, baby. This war is crazy, I won't let you down

Alive With The Glory Of Love - Say Anything

Message in the lyrics?

No.

I just still like the song.

All the cool girls...

2010-04-13T16:41:00.001+12:00

1) Feel less than their best sometimes.

2) Think they are too something.

3) Check their phone every 30 seconds for the text that will probably never come.

4) Wear clothes that don't suit them because they're the 'hip' clothes.

5) Buy things they really don't need.

6) Drink too much, do silly things, and drunkenly contact the wrong person at 3 in the morning.

7) Burn themselves while cooking cookies they can't even eat (wait... maybe that's just me).

8) Hope that they are funnier, wittier, and more intelligent than they currently feel.

9) Wish they were as confident as this girl would be in real life.

And I'm Feeling Good....

2010-04-11T15:50:00.000+12:00

Recipe For An Epic Weekend

Step One

Add: 1 dinner at Sweet Mother's Kitchen

1 text telling me who is playing at Fringe Bar

Process: Gulp down dinner, taxi to Fringe Bar to avoid slow walk on crutches

Step Two

Add: 1 reserved front row table

5 comedian acts (Matt Mulholland, Gabe Page, Daniel McClelland, Robbie Ellis, the Lemon

Barley Trio - made up of TJ McDonald and Jerome Chandrahasen)

1 performance from FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS
1 lounge performance of Umbrella by three of my favourite people: Kim, Kate, and Jo.

Process: Laugh at all of the hilarious acts, try not to trip anyone up as they get on stage, don't touch Jermaine Clement even though he is an arm's length away from you. Swoon with excitement.

Step Three

Add: 1 surprise birthday for a lovely lady

Huge amounts of wonderful food

1 friend visiting from Auckland

5 glasses of cider at the Southern Cross

Hours of fun times playing charades

Process: Play charades until your head hurts from laughing, giggle in the hallway waiting for the birthday girl, drink lots of cider. Do this in any particular order.

I'm cheating here... it's not the EXACT cake that was made for the surprise party.

Step Four:

Add: 1 vintage sale

Vegan muffins with lots of veges
1 phone call from someone unexpected

Process: Go to sale and buy two cute items, bake muffins and eat a couple of them, lie on bed and talk to person and then have a lazy Sunday afternoon.

You will come out with one of the best weekends you've had in a very long time if you follow these four simple steps.

2010-04-10T10:55:00.003+12:00

All of the elements combined make this a lovely short film. It's advertising a shop opening but ignore the commecial aspect of it. I adore it. I like Kirsten Dunst, the music is sweet and suave all at the same time, and it makes me feel melancholic in the best possible way.

non plus one final from Tracy ANTONOPOULOS on Vimeo.

Bad

2010-04-08T21:48:00.000+12:00

I had this dream last night that I was a zombie on a carousel. You have no idea how much I wish I could draw this for you. But my drawings more closely resemble stick figures, so I won't try. Rest assured though that if I could, I would. And if anyone feels like drawing this for me, I would actually love them forever.

Don't Stop

2010-04-07T21:35:00.003+12:00

Life kicks ass sometimes. It rolls the dice and mixes things up. Expectations change, plans are re-jigged. As I stood in the ocean today with one of my friends and as he splashed water at me, we spoke about plans. This man has been designing me plans since primary school and whilst we have moved on from "Make Ms. Dale" leave the school", we're still on "have a make out session behind the school sheds". Well, something similar anyway. He hit me up on the lack of progress for my 25 Things list. So Mark sat me down and we got out our dice and we rolled for the three that need to be worked on.

1) I will do my stretches every day and make my physio fall in love with my dedication to healing.

2) Ask a boy to coffee. I have ulterior motives and they're not even dodgy ulterior motives. For once.

3) Do two intro classes at the gym this week.

Sometimes plans don't take us quite where we expected. I was meant to be a lawyer and working for the UN by now. Mark is meant to be married to a woman. I'm not disappointed. But I'll keep re-rolling that dice until it works out.

Turning It Around

2010-04-06T10:34:00.000+12:00

A gem of advice I was given once was that you should always turn negatives around and try and turn them into positives. Sometimes this works brilliantly, other times it's not so good. Today though, I'm going to try really, really hard.

1) I'm still on crutches. This is good because I always get a seat on the bus and people get out of my way a lot more than they do when I'm just walking normally. Also, it gives me a fantastic excuse to not go to the gym.

2) People want to add me on Facebook that probably wouldn't talk to me in the street. People like collecting friends apparently, I'm helping them reach their goals. And I can snoop on their profile. Let's be honest, it's probably what they want to do to me.

3) I didn't get the job I wanted. Now I can get a job that will help me save for New York in 2011. Ten points if you can guess where this image is from (without clicking the link!)... and if you can think of a good reason for it to be here.

4) I have no more Gossip Girl to watch. This is brilliant. I can actually do something productive with my day. Or I can just watch another TV series. Always Sunny is calling my name. Loudly.

5) I can't eat So-Good soy ice cream because it has wheat in it. Obviously, the less chocolate ice cream I have in my freezer the better right? Mainly because it probably wouldn't last long. And someone once told me eating a whole tub of ice cream wasn't good for you. They might be right.

Ellen Von Unwerth for Absolut

2010-04-05T11:58:00.002+12:00

I adore this ad campaign from Absolut vodka with photographer Ellen von Unworth in the driver's seat. I like a lot of Von Unworth's work. She does these amazing images that eroticize the female form but it never looks tacky.

Kim and I were convinced that the first image (the pink one) is not Zooey Deschanel but apparently we are wrong. I don't think it looks anything like her! There is this amazing one of her in a birdcage that I can't find anywhere on the web.

I love the space age Cosmo girl that Deschanel pulls off here. The fact it looks so different from her normal image is what appeals to me. I do love a good dress up.

All images from www.popsugar.com

UPDATE: Thanks Kim for finding me this!

Advice From My Mother Pt 2

2010-04-04T16:02:00.001+12:00

It is your quirks that make you lovely, don't become a clone just to fit in.

I love the word quirky. To me, it is a bit like an onomatopoeia. I like the fact that I now would describe myself as quirky if asked. For a long time, I wasn't entirely comfortable with being different or individual - like most teenagers, I wanted to fit in as best I could.

I remember sitting with her at the beach and crying when I was 7 because I didn't want to wear jeans and all the kids at school wore them. It was then that she gave me this advice. I've paraphrased but I do remember the use of the word quirky - I was rather precocious and liked words so quirky was just added to my list.

Even now, when I'm the ripe old age of 24, there are times when I feel like no one really 'gets' me, and that there is nowhere that I really fit. The way I think doesn't always make sense and I am far too sensitive for my own good really. Over the past few weeks it has certainly gotten me down a few times. And I'm watching good friends go through the same identity dilemmas. Whenever it's really getting me down, I just think to myself:

1) It's the quirkiness that I love about my friends and I'm pretty sure it's part of what they love about me.

2) Max from Rushmore never fitted in at his school. He still managed to save Latin.

3) "Every man has [d] his own quirks and twists" - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Click on image for link - and it's via the lovely Kim @ Cupcakes and Mace

Lucy's Story

2010-04-03T13:16:00.003+13:00

The date is imprinted on my brain. It was the day I was forced to leave home, the day I grew up far too fast, and the day I came out to my parents.

I grew up in a conservative, relatively wealthy family. I was 17 years old. I was dating a boy who I was with for almost two years. It was getting to the point where he wanted to 'take things further' and I, well, I didn't. My mother approved of him and he would often come over to our house for dinner. It was as if we were meant to be and my parents would do anything to get us there. My mother didn't understand why I was sometimes distant with him and when I broke up with him, it was worse for her than it was for me. When I told her that I'd broken up with him because I was in love with a girl at our school, she flipped. I remember we were sitting on the sofa in our lounge and she just started crying and yelling. My father came in, sat down, and couldn't look me in the eye.

It was about that point that my father said I had to leave the house. I thought he meant for a short time but in reality, I haven't crossed that threshold since that day ten years ago. We have coffee when they are in the same country as me but I haven't lived in New Zealand since I moved overseas in 2000.

I am with the most beautiful, creative, mind blowing woman in the world. We're having a child in eight months which terrifies me. I would give anything to be able to ring my mom and ask her advice. It's just not possible which makes me sad.

I work in gay rights now. I counsel girls who are going through similar things to me and I always say to them that it isn't a mistake. Coming out was both the hardest and the best thing I have ever done. I wouldn't change who I am for anything. I am happy in my life now, satisfied in a way I wouldn't be if I had stayed at home, married a boy and lived a lie.

Sorry this is late! We had a bit of an email over the oceans issue. Ahh technology, I love thy ways.

Story telling

2010-03-29T12:14:00.002+13:00

Over the past few months, I've become interested in the different ways that we tell stories - both our own and other people's. Stories are so important to us as a culture and are a great way of getting to know someone.

Because of this, I'm going to start a new segment on this here blog. Starting this Thursday, I'm going to be putting up a story that someone has sent me - anonymously or otherwise. You can send me photos, question/answer type things, or simply an idea and we can go from there. Because starting off is sometimes hard, I decided to make this month a month of 'firsts'. This week's is going to be from a friend of mine, Lucy, who has written for this blog before. You can contact me through this blog or on my email address (kelly.dare@gmail.com).

Hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed collecting the first few stories!

Razzle Dazzle Rose

2010-03-27T15:17:00.000+13:00

Rose, I'm feeling older

I was as lucky as a four-leaf clover,

I tried to be happy,

But it wasn't easy.

When I choose my colour,

It will be Razzle Dazzle Rose.

Oh, I'm feeling older,

Courage my love,

Will make me bolder,

Expecting softness

Can lead to foolishness,

When I choose my colour,

It will be Razzle Dazzle Rose.

A Public List

2010-03-24T20:25:00.002+13:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm hanging on this precipice and at the bottom is leopards and behind me is bears and I always think I should fall because I like bears and would hate to think they would eat me.

I sleepwalk really badly. Last night I woke up by the front door. It isn't the first time I've done this. One day I'll be able to work the lock in my sleep and I'll wake up on the middle of Cuba Street in my pyjamas. Secretly, this is part of the reason I buy nice pyjamas.

I am addicted to leopard print and wish I could wear it head to toe like Paris:

I am not scared of insects but I am always slightly afraid of cats.

I bite my nails.

My grand-dad was a supplier between New Zealand soldiers and the Mafia in Italy.

I wanted to join the SIS and used to make coffees for them all. Then one day one of the men confided in me that he sometimes wanted to make up intelligence because his job was so boring. He may have been lying to put me off the scent. I'd be a useless spy.

I don't have a single pair of waterproof shoes. I have discovered this over the course of the past month where it has rained at strange times.

I'm questioning my faith and it is freaking me out.

I like eating breakfast by myself. It lets me sort my day out in my head.

I used to be terrified of the police and would hide everytime they came near me. Once I ducked behind a chair (like actually crouched and everything) until they were gone.

I used to be a Brownie but left when they wouldn't give me a badge for learning to sew.

Alice In Wonderland: the review

2010-03-23T11:37:00.001+13:00

I have this scene in my head of Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter throwing a dinner party. Johnny Depp is there with his gorgeous wife, Stephen Fry is being set up with one of Helena's good friends, and the Todd's are both there drinking sherry. Everyone has had a bit to drink by the time the final course is served and suddenly Johnny leans down the table and says "Tim, my good friend, we need to make another movie". In another conversation, Helena is telling Stephen she has been reading the children The Jabberwocky. Tim mixes these two up in his head and pronounces, drunkenly, "let's make Alice In Wonderland!". Silence reigns and then the ideas start flowing. And no one ever said stop.

The latest Alice in Wonderland is not a simple remake of the 1951 Walt Disney production. This time, Alice in 19 years old and on the verge of making a very important decision. Like most 19 year olds, when faced with this she runs away. Unlike most of them she is following a rabbit in a waist coat and falls down a giant rabbit hole. We are clued in that this is not the first time Alice has been here when we hear strange voices saying things like "you'd think she'd remember from before". It quickly transpires that Wonderland (or 'Underland' as it's actually called) has hit on hard times and that Alice is the one who is meant to stop the evil Red Queen in her tracks. Now, I'm all for allusions to other things but I felt the connection between the recession after being led by the 'evil' George Bush was a bit too obvious. Anyway, back to the movie.

So, we're in Underland and it's just feeling a little bit empty. The same cast of characters are there (the only real addition is the Knave). Alice has gone from looking like a crack whore in 'the real world' to being fresh eyed and dewy skinned in Underland. Her outfits get more and more impressive (and rather Alexander McQueen) as she shrinks and grows and stretches over the course of the movie. There is a problem, a way to solve it, and the requisate 'helper' characters to aid Alice in her quest. The problem is, the movie just doesn't really go anywhere except the obvious.

Alice never really examines her identity as much as she is invited to by the Blue Caterpillar (voiced by the wonderful Alan Rickman). This leads to some confusion over why she does what she does and what is driving her to fix it. The White Queen is certainly no help. This was the worst performance I have seen from Anne Hathaway. There are the good ones though, Stephen Fry is an excellent Cheshire Cat and I quite liked the Tweedles. Stand out performances were, of course, Helena Bonham-Carter as the Red Queen and Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. Bonham-Carter was spectacular as the Red Queen. Her glances were perfect, voice was spot on, and even though her giant head was rather distracting, she wore it very well. Depp? Man, I fell in love with him just a little bit more. It was almost as if these two roles had been especially written for Bonham-Carter and Depp. Which, in a way, they were.

And therein lies the problem. Alice in Wonderland seemed to be made on a whim and indulgence rather than any particular need to tell a story. A movie with a $2.5 billion dollar production budget should not leave you feeling like you have just watched a mediocre high school production, nor should it leave you feeling like the whole thing was a just an idea thought up over a tipsy dinner party.

Advice From My Mother Pt 1

2010-03-22T17:38:00.000+13:00

Get rid of the negative people in your life: they are energy vampires.

Some people are energy vampires. They disapprove, they bitch, they complain about everything, and it is never their fault. They contribute nothing positive to your life at all - instead they make the day just that little bit harder than it should be.

Like Bindu Wiles says in this article, some people make you feel "overall like crap about myself" when in reality they are the ones with the problem. Some people have to bring everyone around them down just to feel good about themselves. Why spend your time dealing with them?

I do realise that sometimes a person is an energy vampire for a period of time because of things going on in their life - don't abandon them! Know that they'll get better and they'll be back to their usual supportive self.

I also know I'm sometimes at fault of being overly negative. I recognise that but, I want to surround myself with people who see my faults and help me get over them. These are people who say to me "New York for a year? Heck yeah you can do it, I'll see you there in July '11". They are the people who give me a hug and say "you're fantastic" and people who are just generally sunny. Not people that say "New York for a year? Have you heard of rental prices there?"

Energy vampires? Who needs em?

PS Thanks Jason for the link!

Things I Am Enjoying RIGHT NOW

2010-03-19T16:21:00.002+13:00

This gorgeous look that I saw on Debutante Clothing. Can I copy? Pretty please?

I can't remember where I first saw this but isn't it lovely? I like the idea of owning a dress that has three of my favourite components: stripes, bows, and the colour green.

Carnations. There is something really old school and quaint about them. I like having a bunch in my room and this is this week's lot. I like the one second from the front that's crazy multi coloured.

My too cute for school bicycle. I'm in love with it. It just makes me sigh with happiness when I see it. Paint job and do-up done by the lovely Nic at Blanc Graphique. I'm pretty sure he has a website but I currently cannot find it so you should check his Facebook out.

The Rest Is Noise by Alex Ross. I purchased it today from Unity Books (the best bookshop in Wellington) and I've read one chapter. It's great. I studied Ethnomusicology at university, which is just a fancy way of saying Music History, and this book is full of trivia facts that I adore.

I count as one of my talents the creation of photo walls. It is one of the most satisfying talents ever to be able to take about 100 images and make them fit on a wall with no more than a CM between them. It's a fairly useless talent, but I'm all about celebrating the inane.

PS The woman on the bed in the photo second from the top is my gorgeous mother. Actually screw it, here's a photo of the photo.

Pick of the Fringe: Back/Words and Brotastic

2010-03-18T23:05:00.002+13:00

Pick of the Fringe is, very basically, the culmination of the New Zealand Fringe Festival. Downstage Theatre helps put on two shows that might otherwise not get seen by audiences outside of the Fringe Festival. This year the two shows selected were Wannabe and Back/Words. "Original, innovative and creative" is how Downstage Director, Hilary Beaton, describes the two rather different shows selected this year. Tonight was the opening night of their productions and seriously, if you go to no other 'theatre' this year, go to these two shows.

First up is Back/Words. I missed this during the Fringe so was very pleased to see it this time around. One of the co-creators and actors Jackie Shaw describes the piece as "candid, revealing, funny and completely human: storytelling at its most direct". Sixteen people have been interviewed and now we are watching their life stories on stage. The actors play real people and are listening to them speak through ipods as they play them. I was slightly disconcerted by the ipods at first but you soon forget they are there. Back/words is poignant, funny, and, more than anything was about as real as you can get on stage. All the actors were impressive - there was no moment when I wondered which story they were telling. Stand out stories for me were the South African man, the older couple ("I said no, haha" - I hope I have that much spunk) and the girl whose mother died. Great production and I'm pleased I got the chance to see this unique form of theatre now.

Next up, Wellington gets the return of Brotastik on their last ever final comeback tour ever. I was so excited for the second show it was ridiculous. I saw Wannabe at the Fringe Bar during its Fringe season and I was so impressed. The girls in the office went around singing "you're my popsicle girl" for days after. Guy Langford with director, Erina Daniels, take us inside the world of Brotastic as they battle with aspirations, 400 bulletholes, broken hearts, and screaming fans. And of course, we get to hear hits like "Lost and Found", "Popsicle Girl", "Indestructable" and "Even If". I loved it. I'd see it again, I want the t-shirt, I'm listening to the CD now. I can tell it's going to be on my replay list for awhile. Big ups to Guy Langdon for lyrical genius and Matt Mulholland for arranging the tracks.

So, go forth and see stuff people!!

Drunken

2010-03-18T13:56:00.004+13:00

Dear tipsy self,

Please remember the following next time you are drunk:

1) Do not drunken facebook. The recipient will not reply when they are drunk and then you have to go through the embarrassment of getting their reply message the next day to that message you didn't really mean to send.

2) Blowing kisses at a camera will not make the photo any better.

3) Wear shoes at all times because you won't look at the ground when you are drunk and you will stand on glass and cut your foot open.

4) Get a taxi home. It's $10.00. The house is so close but the icky guy who grunts at you is even closer.

5) When you arrive home, remember where the phone table is. Do not trip over it because it is against the wall, where it always is.

Enjoy the rest of your night,

Love your sober self

Elle Interview

2010-03-16T17:08:00.001+13:00

One of my favourite things to do when I have spare time is to go to Borders and sit and read magazines for hours. Buying magazines always seems like a bit of a waste of money to me, I rip them up, stick pictures on my wall and then throw them away. Reading them in a comfy chair in the middle of Borders though? It's an ideal way to spend an hour.

Today's magazine of choice was Elle. I love Elle. I remember when I was about 12, and I got given a copy by someone, and I loved it. My mother promptly announced it was too old for me and took it away. The most interesting thing in today's reading was the following quiz that was completed by a model but I'm feeling egotistical enough today to think you might be interested in my answers. Sorry if you're not. Well, actually I'm not sorry but you know, the thought crossed my mind for a brief moment. A very brief moment.

What is your first fashion memory?
It's not strictly fashion but my mum made this quilt from all the clothes she owned as a teenager that for various reasons, she didn't wear anymore. I still have the quilt and it's one of my favourite possessions. It's made up of squares of velvet, corduroy, cotton, florals, stripes.

I started to establish my style when... I was 15 when I went to a school that didn't have a uniform. I rapidly got bored of jeans and t-shirts everyday so started to mix it up a little bit and figure out what looked good on me.

The thing I most like about my appearence is... my glasses and my smile. Why would you ever wear contacts when you can wear glasses?!

I look my best when... I don't do casual very well. Jeans generally don't suit me so I tend to dress up. I'm the one that is usually overdressed, but I think it works. Sometimes.

My closet is... bright, unorganised, and full.

I own so many... tea length dresses, gingham print dresses, and black clothes it's a bit ridiculous.

You may not know that... I struggle every morning to find something to wear so I lie in bed and plan my outfit in my head. And then discover the main components are in the wash or something similar.

My most fabulous item of clothing is... oh man this is a tough decision. Practically, it's my green coat because it's warm and lovely and it was a bargain price. Not practically it's the 1940s dress I own that doesn't fit me, probably never will, but is simply the most beautiful piece of clothing ever made. I mean, look at the fabric!

My favourite place in the whole world is... Papamoa Beach. We are lucky enough to own a beach house there right on the main road. It's gorgeous. It's always relaxing going there whether with friends or family or both. This Christmas/New Years was especially fun with about 30 people staying there at one point.

The person that changed me was... This is hard. Obviously my mum is a major source of inspiration! Generally though, the aunties are all a source of inspiration and change inducing. They're all extremely strong women who have done what it is they want to do and all of them are passionate about something and their families. Family is pretty much everything really.

My style icon is... I would love it to be Debbie Harry. But in reality, I don't really know. I get a lot of inspiration from street photography.

My home is... Wellington now. I feel most at home at Papamoa though.

How did I ever live without... my Veronika Maine bag? It's the perfect handbag. LOVE IT.

My greatest inspiration is... without a doubt my mum. I know, it's cheesy. But it's true.

I Want That Man

2010-03-15T16:29:00.002+13:00

I wanna dance with Harry Dean,
Drive through Texas in a black limousine
I wanna piece of heaven before I die
I wanna pair of big high heels,
Catch the lights up on the ferris wheel
But what I really want I just can't buy

Here comes the 21st century
It's gonna be much better for a girl like me
'Cause I want everything I can
But most of all I want that man, I want that man

I wanna move like what's his name,
I'll keep the money, you can have the fame
Everything that's yours will soon be mine
Yeah, I wanna be the queen of the USA,
You can send me roses every other day
But what I really want I just can't buy

Here comes the 21st century
It's gonna be much better for a girl like me
'Cause I want everthing I can
But most of all I want that man, I want that man

I wanna be kissed from head to toe,
By that man in the very back row
But he won't even look me in the eye
I want his love to rain right down on me
I want him to be king of all my dreams
But what I really want I just can't buy

Here comes the 21st century
It's gonna be much better for a girl like me
'Cause I want everything I can
But most of all I want that man, I want that man

Whenever I write posts like this, I wonder who reads it and thinks it is about them.

Wanna watch a movie?

2010-03-14T19:35:00.001+13:00

High Fidelity is one of my favourite books, and this is one of my favourite lines from that book. If I meet someone at a party, one of the first things I like to find out is their taste is music and films.

I'm not a film or music snob. I'll watch Independence Day and cry when the First Lady dies. I regret wasting time and money to go and see Avatar. I listen to the Spice Girls, The Temptations, Sublime all in the same day and know most of the words to the entire Rolling Stones back catalogue. I'll pretend to understand the popularity of Los Campesinos and I can tell you quirky facts about the history of rock and roll (no, Chuck Berry did not hear of rock and roll via phone from his brother Marvin). I watch movies that terrify me and I hide behind my pillow and peek out at the scary parts and then I'll flick over to Freaks and Geeks for a little bit of laughter.

So, I just don't understand when people only listen to one genre, or watch one type of music. There is more than just intelligent movies. And yes, arguably, the blues are the basis for most popular music out there today but there is more to life than just Robert Johnson.

I got accused of being a 'arts snob'. I'll admit it, no one has ever called me a snob about anything, let alone music and film. I resent it. So this is my little 'prove my point' piece to that particular person. As I'm sure Nick Hornby would agree, we obviously have no future together if you think I'm an arts snob.

My Wishlist

2010-03-12T00:25:00.004+13:00

♡ For every skirt I own to magically have pockets.
♡ The perfect karaoke routine to be mine.
♡ To know what to say to people when I they are making me nervous.

♡ That all legal drugs were subsidised.
♡ To be able to ask Lily Allen how she got to be so awesome.

♡ To have a soundtrack of my life.

♡ That I could speak another language.
♡ The ability to solder things.
♡ A mind for money.

♡ For everyone I know to be happy.

♡ For people (read boys) to stop thinking I'm expecting things that I'm not.
I mean I'm not wishing for the moon, or for a dead person to come back (now I'm thinking about that scene in Aladdin where the genie tells him what he can wish for) or to be in love. I don't want the moon, I don't have anywhere to put it. My mum is still around (ooooo ghosty), and I don't feel a need to be in love right now. Seriously, too much to ask???

Body Love

2010-03-11T16:53:00.000+13:00

The gorgeous Natalie over at Definatalie posed a question that challenged me the other day. It was to tell her about your body in less than ten words. This should be simple but I have such a love/hate relationship with my body that it was actually pretty hard.

It actually wasn't until last year that I began to feel really comfortable in my skin. As awful as this sounds, it was through the compliments of my Year 12 class (that I taught, not that I was in) that really made me think, hang on a minute. The Pacific/Maori idea of what is beautiful is so different to the Pakeha perspective. Now, after that experience, I quite like my body. I like that I'm curvy and I think (DON'T BURST MY BUBBLE HERE PEOPLE) that my hair is cool. I think I have a gorgeous smile that I love using, and I like the fact I'm a little bit taller than most.

Sure, I have my bad days where nothing fits properly but one thing I'm learning is that there are simply some clothes that will not suit me. I will probably never be able to wear the t-shirt over leggings trend and body-con dresses are a no-no. Cue will never make clothes in my size and I won't fit a Madame Hawke coat. And sure, I would like to be fitter than I am right now but I'm mostly pretty happy with it all. I think it's a good place to be - there's always going to be things I want to change but for the most part? It's a-ok.

Makeovers and Hammerheads

2010-03-10T23:23:00.001+13:00

I'm good at keeping secrets. It's lucky because I keep a lot of them. I write anonymously and under nom de plumes. I began writing properly when I was training to be a teacher and I had to be aware of Kelly Dare the teacher and Kelly Dare the writer having separate lives and identities. Now I'm not teaching anymore I wonder if I need to worry quite so much. The problem is though, that means putting my name to something and that's just a little bit too scary.

However, don't despair beautiful readers! There are some secrets I can share, and that I want to share...

I snogged a boy when I was on detention in Mrs. Dale's room. He was outside the window and I was inside.

I hate that my accent comes out when I'm drunk and when I'm nervous. I wish it was a sexy British one like it used to be!

I am addicted to Reese's Cups. I don't quite know what to do now I can't eat them.

Everytime I hear my phone do something, I hope it's you. Hahaha but I'm not going to tell you which you. Maybe you'll think I'm wanting it to be you that's texting/calling me?

I'm blase about cancer.

Inspiration

2010-03-04T14:42:00.002+13:00

I'm suffering writer's block today. I think perhaps because I've written so much over the past few weeks, that now I have nothing left to write here.

I love having a crush. It's making me gooey. Except, these sentiments are true unfortunately!

This is true and a bit more cheerful! Happy days!!

And I just like this image.

Dear Friend

2010-03-02T00:28:00.000+13:00

Dear Friend,

We haven't spoken in awhile. The last time we spoke was awkward and polite and I couldn't say all the things I wanted to say to you so I said nothing at all.

I want you to know I think about you a lot. I wonder how you are, where you are, how everything is going. I wonder if that career you've wanted for so long is kicking into gear and I wonder how things are going in a new city. I think about your family and I hope everyone is good. I wonder if you're happy and I wonder if you're seeing anyone new.

I want to tell you how I'm going and what I'm doing at the moment. I want to tell you about the boys I have crushes on and the new people I'm meeting. I want to tell you about my new flat and for you to be excited by things that I'm excited by. I want to go and swim in a random beach on a random day. I want to drink red powerade and wine and I want to dress up in extravagant costume.

Things have changed though and we can't do that. But I want you to know that even though we never talk anymore, and I don't know how to change that, I do still think about you. I hope you are doing ok.

Love Kelly

Misunderstandings and flat debacles

2010-02-28T16:39:00.001+13:00

I'm moving flats today. I'm moving from my lovely room in Aro to a lovely room in a street across from me. I loathe moving so the fact I'm moving from one place to another within a month of moving in is a big deal.

Flatmates are interesting things. You move in with a group of people and are expected to deal with their quirks, their moods, and their cleaning habits. I'm not a paragon of flatmateness. Far from it in fact! I am never home so rarely get a chance to do many chores around the house, I listen to bad music quite loudly, I have long showers, I eat at odd times, I'm moody and I hate post it notes. I like living somewhere that feels like home - where I can sit in the lounge with friends and hang out, where I can talk to my flat mates about the day we've had, where I can drink wine with them and watch movies. I want to feel comfortable in the place that I live.

The flat I'm currently in is a lovely place to live. The flatmates are all pretty rad and the location is great. However, I just don't feel comfortable here. A good friend discussed my living situation with a current flatmate of mine and a current flatmate of hers (weird tangled web of Wellington knowingness) and it turns out there have been quite a few misunderstandings. Dishes, cleaning instructions, post it notes - all these things are easily explained. And I didn't take the time to figure out what was going on. However, none of this changes the fact that this just doesn't feel like my home. I avoid going back to my house and I avoid leaving my room when I am home because I just don't know what to say to my flatmates. Now don't get me wrong, most of the people I live with are lovely people. They are funny, interesting people. We just don't 'click' as flatmates though.

So, I'm doing what any adult person does and I'm running away. I'm excited and sad at the same time. Sad because I feel like maybe I could have made this work if I had more time and excited because I am looking forward to being able to have the window open while I am sleeping and DVD collections and gorgeous furniture. Figuring out how to fit my bed into my strangely shaped room is going to be interesting though!

funny and brilliant

2010-02-27T21:02:00.002+13:00

Hard on myself

2010-02-26T15:58:00.000+13:00

Today was one of those days where logicality meant nothing. If you also had one of those days, know the following:

♥ You didn't look as bad as you thought you did.
♥ The gym isn't going to close it's doors because you didn't make it in for a workout.
♥ The person who makes your coffee won't spit in it next time because you weren't your usual happy self.
♥ Your boss won't fire you because you spent the day achieving not very much.
♥ The best friend you forgot to ring isn't going to stop being your best friend.
♥ Baked beans are a legitimate meal - living like a student isn't reserved just for students.
♥ Feeling uncreative about the evenings plans isn't the worst thing in the world.
♥ Wanting a hug from someone motherly isn't bad just because you're a 'grown up'. Hugs are awesome.
♥ Running into someone in the street and spending five minutes whinging at them is ok every now and then.
♥ Crossing the road to avoid your ex isn't bad, you had a reason to cross the road at that juncture.
♥ Breaking a mirror will not bring you seven years bad luck.
♥ Feeling crappy about yourself will pass, you're gorgeous.

Right, now I'm going to go and convince myself that all of that is true. Hmmmm.

Stuff

2010-02-25T23:10:00.001+13:00

♥ Someone stole my bag last night. It later turned up, with my laptop still in it but minus my phone, camera, and ipod. I'm pleased my $400 bag survived as well as my laptop with three years worth of work on it is back in my clutches. Pretty laptop.

♥ If the ocean was purple, does that mean the sky would be purple as well?

♥ Why do I have this weird obsession with Jonah Hill?

♥ I really need to bake. I haven't baked in an age and I miss it. But time is lacking as well as a pleasant kitchen to cook in. It's making me sad.

♥ There are a lot of anonymous writers around at the moment. Seriously, aren't there a lot more about this year than there were last year? I kind of like em...

♥ BIG GOAL: To work at Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2011.

♥ I miss my bearded Jew friend.

♥ From the beginning of March, I am going to go Vegan for one whole month. EPIC.

Pretty

2010-02-23T14:57:00.002+13:00

Falling Out Of Bed

2010-02-14T20:43:00.000+13:00

I have fallen out of bed three times in the past two weeks. My usual trick is to wake up from an intense dream, not realise how close I am to the edge until BOOM I'm on the floor. I lie there, dazed for quite a while. I fell out of bed this morning. The combination of wine and a gorgeous wedding and the best food I've eaten in an age were enough to give me weird crazy dreams that resulted in me on the floor. Last night's dream was actually inspiring though and it was lying on floor that cemented it all for me.

As many of you know, I've had this massive issue with 'who am I?' over the past few months. The career I thought I wanted turned out to be not so great, I moved back to somewhere, I loved, I lusted, I lost. I had two friends pass on within weeks of each other and I cried countless times because I missed my mum so much. So, as I was lying on my floor after inspiry dream, two things dawned on me.

1) I am Kelly. Kelly is pretty rad most of the time. Sure, she can be a total bitch, she listens to atrocious music sometimes, she can't cook particularly well, she gets ridiculously shy sometimes and she pays for a gym membership she never uses. But you know what? She's dresses in cool clothes (most of the time), she reads good books, she listens to music that makes her happy, she has a job that other people really want, she has a limited edition handbag, and she is generally a pretty kick ass person. She also likes talking about herself in third person.

2) I have these dreams and goals and ideas about things. I need to just DO them. If I want to have a job I adore then I need to get experience and maybe go back to uni for a year, if I want to be fit and healthy, I need to go to the gym, if I want to be happy, I have to do various things to get myself there, if I want an excellent circle of friends, I need to surround myself by people who inspire, challenge, and love them dearly.

So, tomorrow, after work, I'm going to sit on my couch and on a big piece of paper, I'm going to write down everything I want to achieve this year, and how I'm going to do it. Oh yes, we're goal setting. I'm excited.

PS HUGE amounts of love to my gorgeous friends Kate and Jason who got married yesterday. The wedding was beautiful and the HUGE grin on Jason's face all day made me super happy for them both.

GREAT weekend to come

2010-02-12T18:28:00.001+13:00

Things Are Making My World Really Wonderful Today

♥ I got to wear a pink wig and run down Cuba St with a whole bunch of crazy people. It was so much fun and I had a great time. It was a good way to start my day (it was a sloooooow start for me!). Check us all out at Stuff.

♥ Two of my best friends in the whole world are getting married tomorrow. I'm so excited for the wedding, but mostly because I can't think of any couple I love more than them. Red pandas all round.

♥ A really cute boy held the door open for me. Ahhh I love a man with manners. It makes my day. When he is cute, it makes it even better.

♥ Tonight I get to go forget I have any class (there's not much, but you know I try) and shake my ass at San Fran for Rapping On The Fringe. YEAH! The link to this links to one of the act's blogs. It was the first one that came up. It made me giggle a little. Although that may be the bubbly as well. Oops!!

♥ Fringe kicks off today. I'm excited - it is going to be an intense, awesome, exciting few weeks of goodness. COME SEE STUFF!!!!!

Goddamn Lonely Love

2010-02-12T00:01:00.000+13:00

I Still...

Call my old home number and get a surprise when the disconnected number comes up.
Wake up in the morning and wonder why you're not next to me.
Pick up the phone to call my mum. Every single fucking day this week.
Wear the ring a boy gave me and wonder why disease can be so cruel.
Go outside and wonder where my car is.
Get surprised when people like my blog.
Get giddy because I did karaoke with a famous person (80s power hits are the GO)
Drunkenly text people I don't particularly like, but still want.
Have an embarrassing morning playlist that includes Britney Spears, Diana Ross, and Chris Brown.

What's Your Secret?

2010-02-10T21:29:00.000+13:00

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo.

What's your secret? I was thinking about this today - I love PostSecret so much. I read the books and it makes me feel a bit less like a freak for all the secrets I keep. This video is like a summary of secrets - both good and bad. The guy who plans on breaking up a couple in another country for his personal gain. Dude, that's something else. Or the girl who says "I'm a lot better before you really know me".

It's such an odd day. It almost feels like a day to reveal secrets. But which secrets? Someone once described me as a giant pad of post-it notes. You know how it always seems like they never end? Well, yeah. He was going with that notion - that you peel one back and you get hit with another one. I don't know if I would describe myself like that. Am I really that complicated? Lord help me if I am.

These are some of my favourites from the PostSecret website at the moment.

So much better than I could put it...

2010-02-10T18:44:00.000+13:00

I've fallen out of favour

And I've fallen from grace

Fallen out of trees

And I've fallen on my face

Fallen out of taxis

Out of windows too

Fell in your opinion

When I fell in love with you

Sometimes I wish for falling

Wish for the release

Wish for falling through the air

To give me some relief

Because falling's not the problem

When I'm falling I'm in peace

It's only when I hit the ground

It causes all the grief

This is a song for a scribbled out name

And my love keeps writing again and again

This is a song for a scribbled out name

And my love keeps writing again and again

And again

I'll dance myself up

Drunk myself down

Find people to love

Love people too drunk

I'm not scared to jump

I'm not scared to fall

If there was nowhere to land

I woudn't be scared

At all

Sometimes I wish for falling

Wish for the release

Wish for falling through the air

To give me some relief

Because falling's not the problem

When I'm falling I'm in peace

It's only when I hit the ground

It causes all the grief

Falling - Florence and the Machine

Wanna Know?

2010-02-07T17:31:00.005+13:00

I Wanna Know...

♥ a Britney Spears dance routine to bust out on the dance floor
♥ how to play something cool on guitar
♥ if there are cool things on other planets
♥ where I'll be in five years - not the details, just the general gist
♥ why people behave the way they do
♥ how to walk in high heels and not quietly die a little bit every time I take a step
♥ why I'm attracted to douches
♥ if people look in my window and wonder what the fuck my room is all about
♥ where to get a green and white gingham couch cover from
♥ if Tyra Banks tells herself she is fierce when she looks in the mirror
♥ how people stay super skinny after puberty
♥ if there is a reason to be super organised
♥ if I'll ever understand grammar
♥ how open relationships actually work
♥ if you are a closet Cheaptrick fan... I'll open that door...

I don't wanna know...

♥ that you don't want me

♥ your stories about why your past was so much better than my present

♥ all the ways you can impress me with your hipness

♥ the reality of being a 'slashie'

♥ anymore about Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Jennifer Aniston.

♥ if Jonah Hill is really as funny in real life as he is in the movies

♥ how many people read my blog everyday

♥ that you have no self-respect

♥ if you won't step up when you need to

♥ how animals mate

♥ what Lady Gaga looks like when she wakes up in the morning

Reflections and Summaries

2010-02-06T00:06:00.001+13:00

It's my birthday today. I'm pretty excited to be leaving 23 behind and very excited that tomorrow is going to be such a great day. I don't know why it is going to be awesome, it just will be! As I've said, 2010 is going to be a good year for me - I'm determined. And now, being 24 is just going to be the nice icing on the big huge chocolate cake of goodness.

This was my list of 24 things to do before I was 24.

1) Spend a day being a tourist in my hometowns. I did this in two towns. One was Auckland and the other one was Wellington. It was so much fun! I got copies of the Lonely Planet guide's to the two cities and went around with my camera and munchies and bus passes. I was going to wear a bumbag and sneans but I was told this was taking it a bit too far. All the photos were taken on my film camera and I can't be bothered unpacking my scanner. Suffice to say, there was icecream at Mission Bay, Kelly Tarltons, Te Papa, cable car... all the goodies of the two big cities in New Zealand.

2) Botancals. I went to Hamilton and Wellington but not to Auckland.

3) Make five paperplanes with messages in them. Fly them in random places. This was FUN! I flew one on Cuba Street and it landed on a cafe table. I had drawn a little picture on the inside (stick figures count as art ok?) and the person whose table it landed on grinned really wide when they read it.

4) Go on three picnics and roll down grassy hills. These were actually seperate ones but I have combined them for the sake of Mt Eden love.

5) An adventure... I had lots of adventures this year. South Auckland, Brooklyn (Wellington), the random road between Waiouru and Wanganui. I love getting lost and ending up somewhere unexpected. Wanganui not so great but you know, it was good to say I'd spent more than five minutes there.

6) Be an artist's model. I tried to do this. I posed with a friend of Peter's. Too hard, too soon.

7) Letters: I wrote lots of letters and got lots of replies. I loved it and plan to continue this. In fact I am drafting the love letter of the century for Valentine's Day.

8) Ask a boy on a date. Well, it's debatable. I think I asked him. I don't know if he counts it as a date - actually, that is a complete lie, he told me he did - but it was fun and did lead to some lovely times with a lovely boy. Sadly, things did not work out but he is still one of the choicest guys I have met and certainly one of the choicest I met last year.

9) Cook a three course meal. Well it sort of happened. I burnt one course but I tried. That's what counts right?!

10) Buy flowers for someone I appreciate. I did this a few times. A couple of times for lifesavers in Auckland and once for someone in Wellington that I love. But you know who I did buy lots of flowers for? Myself. I love waking up to the smell of fresh roses on a Monday morning. Lame I know but no one else buys me flowers - except Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous!

11) Go to Kelly Tarlton's. DONE IT. AWESOME.

12) Go to another burlesque class. I didn't go burlesque but I did get stripping lessons from a stripper friend of mine. Thanks Whitney!!

13) Go vegan for a month. Um. No.

14) Give a compliment once a day to a stranger. I loved doing this so much. I started doing this regularly when I was feeling really down. I know that if someone gave me random compliments, I would be stoked and so I thought maybe if I did it for other people, they would be to. It was cool to see people's faces light up.

15) Do something scary once a week. I'm about at once a month with this one. I did do something really scary for me the other day which was to go out to dinner with a group of virtual strangers. They were all lovely people and I had a really good time. And I don't think I showed how nervous I really was!

16) Read Middlemarch. No I didn't read this but I did the entire Bobbsey Twins series AND a whole heap of The Famous Five.

17) Complete a 'fun run'. It just wasn't enough fun!

18) Go on a photography scavenger hunt. I didn't manage to do this but it is on my 25 Things list.

19) Buy a new camera. Yes.

20) Learn to use said camera. Sort of. These are some from recent times, the last one is from AGES ago, but I just like it as a shot. It was taken by Michael last Halloween. The rest are mine. They're not all fantastic shots, but I like them for various, sentimental reasons!

21) Get my fortune read again. No... this did not happen. Damn it.

I know that's not 24 but I have combined some of the things!

There will be a new list up tomorrow - I'm excited about my next 25 things!!

Songs That Are Summin It Up

2010-02-02T16:33:00.000+13:00

Flushed From The Bathroom of Your Heart by Johnny Cash. It just makes me want to go to a karaoke bar, sing this song drunkenly, and have it youtubed.

I do believe in a thing called love. And there is nothing quite as choice as flash 80s rockers from the 00s.

CONCERT IS THIS WEEK! I'm excited. Bet you are to. Gonna get my bogan mosh on. Woohoo!

I don't know how to dance. I don't the rules of this game you've got me playing. I wish I did. Maybe then I would be able to get you out of my head.

You're not as big as you think you are.

New Year of Awesome

2010-02-01T19:55:00.002+13:00

So 2010 officially started for me today. Yeah I know, January is the first month of the year blah blah blah. You know what? January sucked SO much, that I gave up on it and am starting my new year today. And so far it has been a ROCKING over-achiever.

Anonymous flowers!!

Oh my god, I never get sent flowers! Like, ever. And today, I got this big, bright, gorgeous bunch of sunflowers that I am just in awe of. Love them SOOOO much! So whoever sent them, if you read this, you are truly wonderful. But now you can reveal who you are so we can make out...

Beginnings...

I got one of those little fortune chocolates today. It was a purple one and I had to scrounge around for it until I 'felt' the right one. And you know what, it was extremely true. It said: "Don't give up, the beginnings are always the hardest". Oh it is so true. Lots of things are beginning at the moment, and some of them got in motion in 2009. Not giving up on the challenging ones has been, well, hard. But I'm hoping it will all turn into this amazing showfest of a year.

I've lost the link for this! I'm really sorry!

Self-belief

Last year I put too much stock in what other people thought of me. This year though, I'm fighting to make myself realise that just because someone isn't into me, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with ME, and just because the girl got my order wrong today doesn't mean I ordered badly. Yes I actually used to be that bad. It's ridiculous.

Fringe Fest!!!!

I'm interning for the New Zealand Fringe Festival this year. Yes it is going to be awesome, yes you should come to lots of shows, and yes I get to meet the most hilarious, inspiring, and beautiful people in the world. Go see lots of things if you are in Wellington. It promises to be super-duper fun times.

Bigger Dreams

I'm turning 24 on Saturday. I was reading my diary from 10 years ago today (same entry, today ten years ago). My biggest dreams back then was getting through form four, getting out from under my mother's thumb, and getting a boyfriend. Well, I got kicked out of school, left home for a while, and got a 19 year old boyfriend. Now, my dreams are so much bigger and so much more important. And you know what? I have this gut feeling that I might just achieve them better than I achieved those dreams of a 14 year old.

New Year??

2010-01-31T06:59:00.007+13:00

I have had a decidedly average January. In fact, I would go so far as to say it was shit. Yes somethings improved - I'm no longer in killer physical pain every day and I have gone to the gym enough times that I need two hands to count. I have a great new flat with cool flatmates who I am looking forward to getting to know better, I've met a few people that I think will become good friends, I haven't bought any new clothes this month and I had a good New Year with wonderful, amazing, BFF's (I hate that phrase but in this case it's just, well, true). I scored a job in an area I am passionate about and I'm beginning to figure out what I really want in my life.

However, lot of bad stuff has happened as well that I could do without. Hospital visits, friends passing on, boys being retarded (I hope that's the right one, they're still being retarded so present tense yes?), making an idiot of myself because of more than one boy (I'm onto three at the moment, and I think I get more idiotic with each one) and various other things have led me to decide that 2010 begins February 1. None of this January crap, I'm just going to forget it. 2010 is MEANT to be a great year, not a crappy one that January was.

Mature? Probably not. But that's ok, it also means I get to do this quiz that someone sent me AGES ago and I forgot to do!

1) Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Sort of - they were going well until February. I have resolutions for 2010 and while January hasn't been great, I have made steps towards working them out. We're getting there.

2) What countries did you visit?

Japan, England, Scotland, and America. Japan was actually at the end of 2008 but I'm counting it.

3) What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Realising two things:

Sometimes people are just not very nice people. It's not always to do with me.
I can be too generous with my heart.

4) What was your biggest failure?
I don't know, I think allowing situations to culminate in explosions wasn't the best thing to do.

5) Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My amazing family - I actually don't think I would have gotten through the year without my wonderful aunt and uncle and their regular dinners. Also, good friends like the 361 Crew, the Watson's, Jill (who may be on the other side of the world but just thinking 'what would Jill do' sometimes clears my head), and the school people.

6) Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

The three women at my school who seemed to make it their mission to make me miserable, my own behaviour in reaction to them and also towards some other things.

7) What song will always remind you of 2009?

Down by Jay someone - it reminds me of my kids at school!

8) What do you want to do more of in 2010?

Writing, photography, not worry so much, things that make me happy.

9) Did you fall in love in 2009?

I fall in love at the drop of a hat so yes. A few times.

10) What was the best book you read?

100 Years of Solitude.

11) What was your greatest musical discovery?

Melanie Pain - oooo I adore.

12) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Major crush on Lily Allen.

13) What political issue stirred you the most?

Poverty, killing a boy because he tagged.

14) Who did you miss?

My mum.

15) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

"It's a risk and a thrill".

16) What are three goals for 2010?

To be happy.
To not give people the power to make me feel less than good about myself.
To add more charm and loveliness to the day. I walk down the street and see people looking unhappy and I wonder if anyone has said something nice to them that day. And I wish I had the confidence to tell someone they look beautiful that day or that they make coffee really well or that their smile brightens my day every time I see them.

17) What is one thing you would like to say to people?

You 're the best.
I gave you the power to make me feel shitty about myself. I'm going to take it back now thanks very much.
It wasn't meant to turn out like this.

The Art Of Missing Someone

2010-01-25T18:20:00.002+13:00

I miss a friend of mine.

He was hit by a car a week ago, I hope it looked like this one.

I went to his funeral today.

They played 'Love Is All You Need' by The Beatles.

I emailed another boy wanting comfort but he never replied.

It's hard knowing my friend won't call me from Paris telling me about his new coat again,

or the fresh croissants his boyfriend got him from the markets.

Instead of missing him though,

I am sitting on my couch wanting the boy who never replied.

Because it's easier to miss someone who might eventually

walk in the door and say hello.

If images aren't linked to something, I have either lost the link (sorry) or they are my images.

A List Of Warning

2010-01-24T15:03:00.002+13:00

Sit down readers, I have a bit of a story to tell before the List of Warning.

I've been seeing this guy on the down low for a while. We've been taking it easy - I tend to get excited about new things so we've had coffee dates, dinner dates, you know, all those nice 'get to know you' dates. We got on, I found him attractive, he thought my off kilter sense of humour was hilarious. I knew I wasn't going to marry him but I like having fun with a guy. I was doing it on the down-low because I tend to get too excited by things and fuck it epically. This time though, no getting too excited.

We went out to dinner at this ridiculously priced restaurant and I was getting over the 'are we gonna, are we not gonna' and so I went home with him. We walked to his house in Mt. Vic, I was getting excited about the whole thing. Just holding his hand was giving me tingles. Mmmmm tingly.

So, we walked to his house and all the warnings that had pinged my sub-conscious descended into one big fat message. My Mr. Right Now was already someone's Mr. Right.

Signs I should have listened to:

1) He calls you from work and you hear children in the background - bars don't let children in.

2) He owns a late model sedan.

3) He is NEVER available on a Sunday night.

4) He is iffy about where he works.

5) He sometimes seems just a little bit too nice.

6) You go to his house and there are photos of his wife and kids on the wall and he tells you she is away for the weekend.

Now, I'm all for ignoring points 1-5 - after all I have a permadate on a Sunday night with friends, I'm iffy about where I work because it usually changes on a weekly basis, and I used to get phone calls at lunch time when I was on duty. But the final one? Well, it's kinda obvious you should put your clothes back on and get the hell out of there. Luckily, I hadn't taken my clothes off so I could just walk out.

Ah dating, how I love your ways. Actually, I have another hilarious date story to share this week. Man, oh man, I keep going on dates that write the book on 'do not date this man'. I will fill you all in later on this week at some point.

By the way, sorry the lack of my posts lately. I've been really busy with a couple of projects and some personal stuff came up - aside from married man dates! I hope you weren't too offended by Lucy and James' posts! XX

Juicy Lucy Post

2010-01-18T11:11:00.001+13:00

Hi! I'm Lucy, another one of Kelly's guest post people. James and I live together and so my post is following a similar theme - sex. Except mine is much more intelligent and on-to-it. :-) Enjoy.

Sometimes I feel like sex is a club I am not cool enough, hot enough, attractive enough, drunk enough to join. I forget that I've been having sex for nearly 15 years, happily for the most part and panic.

Sex on its own terms is simple. I know you've all attended sex ed classes, you know what goes where (and all the options), how we get pregnant, you SHOULD know about STI's and how to protect yourself from them. All of this is actually simple biology. What is not simple is what sex does to us.

Humans go crazy for sex. We're one of the only species that have sex purely for pleasure. It can consume our thoughts: how to get it, how to keep getting it, if you're getting enough, why he/she hasn't called, if you should that girl whose abilities in bed are consuming your thoughts. And this is before we've even gotten to emotions. It's this obsession with sex that drives the porn industry and also a good chunk of women's magazines. Even Men's Health has a list on how to be better in bed in this month's issue. The idea that a woman can memorise how to give good head is what sells Cosmo magazine really.

In a look at the five people I live with, we have a woman who loves women (me), a gay couple, a straight lad and a bisexual girl. Our experiences of sex and the people we are attracted to differ greatly. The advice that we can take from sex advice differs greatly. We have similar experiences in some ways - we've all had the crush we'll never touch, the f*** buddy we fell for, the f*** buddy who fell for us, the long term relationship that was the best sex, the long term relationship that was awful sex. And we've all read the articles on how to be better in bed.

The problem with this is that because of all our different experiences and desires are too simplified for these articles. It's simple to watch a porn film and think a girl enjoys having her head shoved down, it's easy to read that the position that will blow his mind is the 'cowgirl' (woman on top, seriously if this is what straight sex is all about, no wonder I don't like it - no imagination) but it's impossible to give you the experience. I'm on a plane right now on my way to Frankfurt. I'm next to a lad and I could give him amazing head because I've read the Cosmo article. He could talk dirty to me in the way he saw in that porn movie he watched last night. I would know it's all about deep throating and rolling your tongue in a certain way, he would know every girl loves being pawed at. In the end though, the article hasn't told us the actual experience of sex with each other. An article can never tell us what it is like to HAVE sex. We can only know what our sex is, what it feels like with our partner.

OUR sex is about more than memorising a ten step guide, OUR sex is about more than what a magazine says is erotic, OUR erotic is different to everyone elses. And perhaps that's what we need to respect the most.

Scary as it is, YOU are the only person who can figure out how your erotic works. You're the only person who can know your partner's favourite thing, and you're certainly the only one who can work out what really works for you.

So stop watching the movies, stop reading the articles, and go out to experience the answers. See what works for you, experiment. And have the chutzpah to believe in YOUR erotic.

I'm James

2010-01-17T17:02:00.000+13:00

Hi. I'm James. I'm the second guest poster while Kelly is away for a time. She's back soon but for now you get me. I hate writing but like any good English teacher, Kelly said to "write about what you know". So I will. I think she's going to kill me when she reads this but she's not reading it for a few days so there you go.

I'm in the adult entertainment industry. I don't perform but I do film and photograph. It's a good way to pay the bills and it means I get to go all sorts of crazy places - and see all sorts of crazy things, both good and bad. So my list is going to be about sex. Well not the physical act (watch one of my movies if you want that advice) but instead random stuff that will hopefully make it better.

1) If you are after a one night stand, be honest. That's all, warn them BEFORE you go home with them. It's only polite.

2) Use a condom. Use a condom. Use a condom. Girls, don't rely on the bloke, blokes don't assume because she's a hot female that she's clean. Use a condom.

3) Respect each other.

4) If you are trying to end it with them, be polite. Do it in person, don't leave it hanging like a hang nail that gets caught on everything. It's rude. Basic guide? If you've had sex with them, do it in person.

5) Have fun. One of the awesomest girls I know thinks sex is hilarious and treats it as such. She's never giggled at a guy at an inoppurtune moment (I don't think) but she does make it fun and funny.

6) Don't film people unless you have asked and have explicit permission. Girls, if you are filmed, take the film home with you. Do not leave it with him. Even if he is lovely, he is bound to have at least one drop kick friend.

7) Boys, this is advice from my flatmate who is reading this: don't push their heads anywhere.

8) Girls, don't lie there. It's not lady like. It's boring and stupid.

9) If the guy falls asleep straight away, girls, just snuggle up while they are asleep. Or go to sleep yourself. This goes the other way as well. If the girl falls asleep, guys you are lucky. Hold onto this girl - unless, in my case, she lives in New Zealand and I live in London. Damn it.

10) Don't fake it. It's not worth it. Eventually it'll come out and if you are just having a one-nighter, what is the point of faking? Be bossy, tell them what you like. Trust me, it's better.

I think Kelly is going to kill me for this. I don't think this is what she expected at all! But the other option was camera angles and well, that would have been even worse.

Ciao!

Guest Post by BECKS!!!

2010-01-13T16:15:00.002+13:00

Hi! I'm Becks. It's my birthday today, I'm 35. I feel old before my time and like there is a lot more to do. Kelly asked me to write a list of things I know now that I didn't at 23, since she is 23 or something. I'm not much of a writer so a list suits me to a t... not much to write really!

Life is bittersweet. My brother died two years ago. He died in a hospice while his fiancee of three months slept in an old lazyboy next to him, holding his hand. Since that moment, I've learnt life is full of small blessings that were often passed over by me previously. Here are some of the best lessons I've learnt.

1) Love and love strong. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them or like them.
2) It's okay to not have a career plan.
3) If you're going to drink, drink top shelf. The hangover the next day will be much, much better.
4) Turning 30 really isn't a big deal. It was the fact my daughter turned 15 in the same year that did my head in.
5) You can learn lessons in grace and dignity from the most surprising places. The girl engaged to my brother showed a beauty beyond her years after he passed. I learnt much from her.
6) You will never, ever use anything beyond addition, subtraction, and multipicaton. Although being able to work out percentages is useful in a sale.
7) The more expensive the phone, the more likely you are to drop it down the toilet.
8) Don't date a man who asks "are you on the rag".
9) Don't be afraid of doing what you like doing. Even great artists do crap work sometimes.
10) Be happy, whatever it takes.

That's it from me folks!! I don't know how to put pics in here and Kelly is not available to ask!

Hope everyone is kicking today!

XXXXXX

How To Get Through It

2010-01-12T09:27:00.002+13:00

1) Go be with people who share genes or your last name. Don't pick the ones that you don't get on with, choose the ones that are always there. If you don't have any of these, go hang out with your adopted family.

2) Listen to good music. I know all you want to do is lie in bed and listen to sad, depressing music but what you actually need to do is put on Michael Jackson, a bit of rockabilly, Weezer, and Rolling Stones (well they're my picks, you can go for Miley Cyrus if you really want), and lie there and listen to that. Eventually you'll start tapping your foot.

3) Realise it has to get better. I know it seems like it won't and people saying "oh wait two weeks" just make you want to smack them in the head and yell "I've been waiting two months" but just wait, just wait.

4) Surround yourself with people who have the guts to be there. Maybe you feel like you're not worth good people but you SO are. Surround yourself with those people, not fuckers who don't step up. However, sometimes stepping up doesn't mean being there in person. Hmmm. I can't justify this claim without going into way too much detail.

5) Go and buy yourself flowers.

6) Try on shoes and look at bags. Avoid clothes, they'll make you feel fat, ugly, and gross is you're feeling horrible.

7) Get out of bed and go and get something to eat.

8) Go for a walk. It's the last thing you want to do. I can hear you crying out "no". Do it.

9) Write down three things you've been complimented on. Don't go for 10, 10 is a friggin mission. Three on the other hand is much more doable. Get a big piece of paper and some felt tips and stick it on your wall. If you can't think of any, mine is that you are intelligent because you read my blog!

10) Limit your alcohol. Ok I'm such a bad one for this. Bad day, oooo there's my friend bubbles mixed with cranberry, even worse day, oh hit me with the tequila. But you have to limit it. Abstinence is best but be realistic, otherwise you'll just feel even worse.

11) Decorate your room to make it a sanctuary. I have a friend who has their bed concealed in a fort in their bedroom. It is AMAZING and so cozy! We used to lie in there for hours and just listen to the outside world pass us by. Nice times. Make your space yours, if you can't stick stuff up, buy blutak, get a lovely duvet cover, nice pillows, snuggle stuff. And decorate the places that aren't your bedroom as well.

12) Ask for help. If you don't want to ask someone you know, email me - I'm full of crappy but semi-useful tips.

Maybe you've never felt that the image above applies to you, but have a think about the people you know who it does apply to. It's not a choice to feel that way, give them some love. Sometimes, that's all they really need.

You're awesome.

Things that are okay

2010-01-11T10:59:00.002+13:00

1) Making out with your ex. It's a blip, it's a relapse. Just don't get so hung up on the ex that you forget about the new, choicer people in the world.

2) Not going out on a Friday night because you would rather stay home and watch DVD's.

3) Going out on a Tuesday night because you don't want to stay home and watch DVD's.

4) Fucking up. You WILL be able to fix it.

5) Knowing your family is important but knowing they aren't always right.

6) Learning that the people who sit with you at 1am in the emergency ward even when they have work at 6 the next morning are true friends. The guy who sent someone who smashed a window to get into your house to check you were okay is also a true friend but in a different capacity.

7) Dancing when Thriller comes on the radio.

8) Liking bad music, not liking 'cool' music, and not listening to music because you associate it with someone.

9) Not drinking at a party. Just think, you get to be the lucky bitch who doesn't wake up with mega hangover the next day.

10) Giving your lust and like and love to someone who doesn't deserve it. We all do it, don't beat yourself up. Move on, it's ok.

Books I've Read Recently

2010-01-04T15:19:00.002+13:00

1) Under The Dome by Stephen King

Epic story of a township in America that gets mysteriously shut under a dome. Well worth reading but it does tend to go on a bit - it's 877 pages. I enjoyed it but was getting a bit tired of it by the end. The problem with books this long is that the characterisation can get a bit iffy. There are so many characters and some do appear and then disappear again. Strong start though - the first chapter is great.

2) Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

I got this edition for Christmas. It's fitting because flamingos are one of my favourite animals and this is one of my favourite book. I devoured it quickly and loved it just as much as the last time I read it. Go Alice! The woman who designed them does a great interview here. I love book design - I am a person who always judges a book by it's cover.

3) Reflections of a Solitary Hamster.

I like graphic novels and comic books. This is one of the sweetest I've read in a while. It's published by New Zealand's own Gecko Press.

Mole: "For me the most beautiful word in the world is friendship. What's yours?"

Racoon: "uh, loyalty"

Rabbit: "adventure"

Snail: "commonsense"

Hamster: "waffle"

4) The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans

OK it's summer. There has to be simple reads in there somewhere. This almost made me cry (almost, not quite). It's a very easy read, and worth it for a summer day at the beach. I did fall asleep but that was the combination of sun, beer, and too much food more than the book!

5) On The Road by Jack Kerouac

I reread this every year and this year was no exception. Love this book so much! Excitingly, I'm trying to plot a route across the places he went for a possibly upcoming trip to the US... The southern states are calling my name though. The very idea of eating deep fried chicken from the Deep South makes me tingle.

Soundtrack of Summer

2010-01-03T13:26:00.000+13:00

Over the past week I have driven 2554 kms. This is ridiculous. To survive this amount of driving, there must be some seriously good music to assist! The top 20 artists of my summer so far, in no particular order:

1)The Rolling Stones - if you don't like the Stones, I don't know if we can be friends.
2)Wham - musically maybe they aren't mind boggling in terms of musical genius but everyone knows 'Jitterbug'! Singalongs are life savers on long car journeys.
3) Summer Cats - hailing from Melbourne, these guys have this lush summer sound and lyrics that seem to fit my life pretty perfectly sometimes.
4) Grizzly Bear - I like them. Not just because their name is my favourite animal, but because they are awesome.
5) The XX - I'm looking forward to seeing them at Laneways this year.
6) Daniel Johnston - OK so it's not necessarily happy bouncy summer music but it suits various moods of the moment
7) Crooked Still
8) Los Campesinos - I have a love/hate relationship with LC. Some of it is wonderful, some of it I don't understand. But it is still worth a listen.
9) Har Mar Superstar
10) The Drums
11) Noah and the Whale
12) Blondie - Debbie is my heroine.
13) David Bowie - "Rebel, Rebel" is my official song according to a Facebook quiz.
14) White Hinterland - there is this gorgeous cover of 'My Love'
16) The Kinks - "lazing on a sunny afternoon". Perfect summary.
17) Say Anything - there's this particular song called "Hate Everyone" that is great to sing at 3 in the morning when you're driving down the Foxton Straights. Maybe that's just me though.
18) Go Team - jumpy, dancy, fun fun fun.
19) Camera Obscura - amped for their concert, tis going to be great. Well, it better be!
20) Acid Girls

Sorry this is such a lazy post! The driving has taken it's toll on my brain capacity. Go look some of these artists up, I hope you're not disappointed!

By the way, Happy New Years to y'all, I do hope you had a grand time wherever you were!

XX

A post on something

2009-12-29T12:26:00.000+13:00

I'm doing this from a friend's iPhone whilst trapped in an inescapable environment. It's quite terrifying this thing. I go through cell phones like some people buy new clothes, and my laptop bares scars of careless accidents with hair straighteners. I've been warned of grievous bodily harm if anything happens to it so I'm being rather careful. All this typing on the thing is driving me mad though!

I'm a bit of an insomniac at the best of times and there is only one thing that really makes me sleep which wasn't available last night (oh doesn't that make you wonder!) so I went for a walk at four this morning. I was down by the wharf. It was pitch black and raining lightly when I met the crazy unicyclist.

There's this strange thing that happens when you know you're not going to see someone again. It's like been on a plane with someone for a 13 hour journey and you hit turbulence and genuinely think you're going to die (has anyone else had that?!) and you share everything with this complete stranger, just in case you never get to share it again. I felt like that last night. This is his story that stands out the most to me.

When he was my age he went skydiving. He jumped out of the plane and everything seemed fine. He pulled the cord for his parachute and it didn't open. Floating towards earth, he had a moment when he didn't know if he wanted to pull the emergency chute. And then he did and he was all right. The thing that he said about this was that if he had given in and not done it he wouldn't have survived (very few people survive that fall you know). He landed, returned his gear, told the people what had happened and got in his car. At high speeds, he drove straight to this girl's house who he had been seeing for a few months, and asked her to marry him. She said yes and they have now been married for 28 years.

We parted at 6:30 this morning. The sun was up and all the fitness freaks were out running along the wharf. I walked home and called a friend to come and pick me up. And now it’s time to face facts with a coffee in one hand and a drip in the other.

Being religious and not been a douche

2009-12-24T07:55:00.001+13:00

There are grammar errors in my title. That has to be bad right?!?!

I'm religious. I go to church most Sundays, believe in God, believe in Heaven and all that claptrap. I'm also pretty open about the fact I'm Christian (Anglican if you must know). It really annoys me however, when there is this perception that all Christians are douches. Fact of the matter is 85% of Christians are perfectly nice people that you would want to hang out with.

One of people's biggest things is that Christians will force them to give up some aspect of their lifestyle, or, even worse, make them go to church. I would never make anyone I know go to church except maybe the poor guy I end up married to on Christmas Day. It's like forcing you to go to a Britney Spears gig when you're a freak fan of Lightening Bolt.

And lifestyle? Some of the hardest 'livers' I know are Christian. They drink every night, they smoke various things, they have sex before marriage, they are, shock, horror, gay. And it's all ok. It's called making choices people. Even Mary made a choice, it just happens she was the smartest woman to walk the earth. She got herself into a sticky situation and made up one of the best, most long lasting, and most believed stories ever. That takes brains and a certain attitude. Gotta admire her.

The billboard put up by St Matthew In The City, Auckland. Brilliant.

When you think about it, it is pretty random. I believe that there's an entity who floats around, controls lots of things, has some good morals and a wicked history (in the original meaning of the word). Even I think it's slightly bizarre but I bet you believe in random things as well. It's ok, it's what makes the world go round. Go watch the Community Christmas Special if you don't believe me.

And, just a bit of a plug for my old church: all these images are actual ads run by St Mathew in-the-city which is a very choice church in the middle of Auckland City. Well worth going to I reckon!